This is a pro bono security opinion by ex-patient Tim Baber as a valedictory thank you to the staff who labour at two wards under extraordinary situations… arrived at inductively and deductively using an extraordinary rendition of suffuse material just like a patient would.
I missed the above highly relevant exhibition. But I have a mix of observed, reported, and remembered evidence which is a mixture of facts and opinion unlike any reports on psychiatric wards you will have seen. And I have seen some.
For diplomacy I suggest the 39 page CQC report on Slade House OX3 7JH as my claimed discipline of ethno-methodology calls such a slating a critical case study, this being a ward that seems to have failed on every known criteria and becomes its own benchmark.
But my subject was not the standards set, nor the performances achieved, but a good old fashioned AIMS, FACTS and METHODS (AFM) approach taught to me by a man now surely dead. He was the manager for the man below, also my boss.. It avoids being locked into someone else’s paradigm to jettison ancient landmarks but keep the craft . A joker would wish to be free of his King; and free, can turn leading lights onto and into anything. And those three Aims, facts and methods searching lights can achieve miracles of repurposing, when a ward faces only darkness or blame for supposed wrongs.
To celebrate the Lord of Misrule’s celebrated month, December, in June is entirely appropriate. Turning the AFM lights onto a hospital ward has still taken me 35,000 words, but the matrix of challenge and compete and compare have also been applied. A fool would supplant a king! And even this has been supplanted with arguments beyond anything you have ever read.
In very hot places with no power, no margins for error and few demands other than survival ethno-methodology needs to know what a man with a spear is thinking but not the reverse if possible. If cultivated as carefully as the tribesman’s observances about the relationships between the seeds and the stars the world and everything in it becomes intelligible. Disney copied from anywhere . The cycle of responsibility and the circle of life then becomes a motif for the West…a myth by which lives can be lived. Once you know the three decreasing in size rocks in a Japanese garden represent The Universe, the World and Man and you can show you know with humility what the host most desires..the connection of an idea with a fertile and receptive mind.
This report seeks to do that, and military advantage is asked to retreat for once, for to write about a hospital ward these days involves all sorts of goings on rarely finding ink to caress parched linen or paper because things have moved beyond our knowing them and the walled gardens that are mental health wards are now seconded into the Psyop information wars. Doctors now help to administrate nations eager to try to map the mind, inhibit it good and proper or disinhibit it to find out what it can do. That I am an exception is wrong. I am the very product of the system it seeks to provoke. And there will be plenty more as apparently this is now a struggle where the joy that was a frequent co flyer is reduced to a mental flypaper.If you do not believe this is relevant , sit in a cinema complex for 10 hours. That or similar is where your patients are coming from because it is the most economical route.
Between April and the end of May 2014 an early-retired former local library assistant was admitted to Antelope House (Southampton) then Melbury Lodge in Winchester, a 28 day required recovery allowed a week or two after that as an informal interlocutor between patient expressed needs and claimed unexpressed but met demands being made of the NHS.
This report, an honest gift to explain a manic awareness is now quietly available. To respond to my carers seeking an easy life for me…not them, I had to do this. I am made that way. It is about us all and the NHS being “made” that way .
A benign 30 year history of shall we say controlled anxiety/but eventually hyperthymia/and a gently disinhibiting hypomania required a safe place to recover from an out of context “dreams coming true” scenario . This has had good prognosis and was expected due to a medication drought.. NHS practice is rational and remedication to known levels was accepted as I knew untreated I might give all my money away…or something.
To extend hypomania into mania and infinity and beyond one became of interest to some strange bedfellows. I have learned psychiatry holds the key to our more private thoughts and dreams which Governments seek so as to prevent others being able able to more usefully inhibit us or disinhibit us to the point of creating Slave Nations. Briton’s and well everyone have always been prey over time… relentlessly actually , and the American’s have been resolute like Britons to not be the slaves, . seeing new multipliers and even would be Master’s at work.
Typical of the natural enough condition of hypomania to try and help out a bit I made a promise to report what began as minor frustrations within both hospital wards in the form of a personalised report, herewith. It has grown legs and you can take it or leave it according to need.
I have to start somewhere that has a significance to a Southampton born author.
I knew it would be full of my own preoccupations, but I would have an audience looking to find fault with themselves too. By being frank about seemingly personal rubbish or wilder concerns you can better evaluate what sounds familiar with probably left of field stuff.
It has been written with the objection that I usually quote out of context. My first job plundered an annual report found outside my Boss’s karate black belt Nigel Donaldson’s office. This then was the conglomerate owned by a nervous and polite Lord Thomson of Fleet. The connection between editorial and sales was a weak one, and I preferred using words and images to marry ideas not sell space for adverts. But I remember and yet miss everything. I hate to think I missed things at Antelope House or Melbury Lodge because this was a collision of worlds I would never have missed.
quoted from top CEO Gordon C Brunton, of Thomson Yellow Pages…I try borrowing and stealing ideas without limit as that is what they are for.
He had written he was
“always happy to discuss packages that go across our range of titles companies…in the spirit of the cross fertilisation of ideas….”
All I remember was we all got trapped in a lift with him it being for 11 , we being twice that number….and it failed, and we all risked our lives and careers too if we thought about it escaping that £1m pound sales champagne party in 1974ish. We found the chief artist asleep the following day under a table. The NHS has lifts and policies that surely avoid such a it would have been a shearing accident from becoming not an idea or fear but real.
And yet this terrible accident…which never happened…is my own nicer version of the planting of trauma in your minds by dark and sinister forces from which you will learn more .
This is point 2. And guess what…the traumatic triggers are never far from the rich and complex film and performing arts industries that try to influence the NHS and encroach via TV and radio and newspapers and in the weight of associations just in reinforcing a coffee or cigarette break.
Point 3 is that a counter force to all of this is the ecstatic or I prefer the laid back carefree line…because in love or war you use whatever you have got to reduce the breaks if what you have is better than the average….
People with my condition can briefly hope to become disinhibited to think that which sometimes passes for a sort of idiot savant. This is so common it is as if it is a movement to help disinhibit us..or inhibit us, I always forget what is really going on. And my report will argue this is exactly what is going on..as if you didn’t already know?
Sometimes horribly wrong, sometimes amazingly prescient, some near ecstatic patients are so keen to please in their elevated mood they seem egocentric or attention seeking, or seen in turn thanks to a carefree variable horizon honest brokers with no personal agenda… if we are all lucky.
Cunning devious slippery so and so’s are just as likely statistically if you have a policeman’s mind…and those who have fallen from the fence trying to keep their ear to the ground on both sides may even glimpse that rarest of events , the trickster. Not the prankster, anyone can do that.
They are so rare the chance is that they just occur in a statistical sense…enough extremes of enough behaviours within enough boundaries and you have a story that can become a meme…a motif for our times or even a proxy…and as such safely a legend. outliving the time or the place or the ward and disguising the forces that produced the event. Just saying. I agree in this with an assistive technology practitioner from Milwaukee.
It also means that if a combination works…varieties of that combination are coming your way, and you need to know whether to capture, or promote the trend or seek its destruction by all the usual medical interventions, none of which I am concerned with here.
Ah, but this is a report you may show to anyone because the normal medical retrained words are not needed. This is about something that shapes a profession, which after all is only really about 100 years old.
No poor reflection should be cast by a “report” of this nature on staff present or past. Staff work within traditions, customary practices and professional skill sets. I could only admire at times skill by cascading skill which have to tread a fine line between freedom and restraint. The least popular of the staff which can be any or all of them in turn face being observed or appraised knowing complaints and appeals could be corrosive. Each gesture or commitment is a bridge trust between guardians and their charges, with mutual candour the best approach as far as I could see. To introduce anything socially toxic into this mix might be thought to be corrosive, But I stand on my record.
This is common to just considering first basic easy to understand ergonomic considerations and compromises which is where I will begin.
For me the stay at Melbury Lodge, Winchester began when neighbour lent me his nail clippers and the other side patient found a clock. The simplest of gestures works to favour the prevailing mores and I learnt this was a grace and favour ward, rights existed, but no one knew what they were or were shipped out if they lost touch with a common base of rationality. And yet…I look for patterns, conditions behind cases. What makes most of us want to get out of bed in the morning.
The Psychiatric ward Patient’s own room/bed:
A Psychiatric ward is a completely different home for some for a short while. The differences can make the difference in a stay of days or weeks becoming months or they can bring matters to a head quickly. This is a clue. First some facts that are open to challenge to set a pace that most can follow.
A standard hospital bed might range in height from 16 inches to 22 inches from the floor. If falls are expected some advocate a low height of down to even only 9 inches. This as good practice especially for the elderly might be coupled with a falling mat. Height has its own issues in every discipline, and affected my development in getting to here in an extraordinary way. It can make operating a TV a pleasure or a “nightmare” as some might exaggerate,. who have never heard their own cries disappear in the night… and patients do exaggerate and even lie, here on beds and with loads of problems often identical in nature or even subject matter…which is a clue few will hazard.
IN the 80’s I joined the Folklore Society. I was astounded at the borrowings by Hollywood of original source material someone had collected and made available. I do not mean the Brothers Grimm, they were populists for horror which served then and serves today an agenda foreign to the ideas of cosy bedtime stories.
No, they were a bit “dodgy” and found expression later in the Hollywood children’s film “The Wizard of Oz” the US government used to try to achieve mind controlled children. But the academics had ploughed their own furrow and indexed all the folk tales and suchlike in the Funk and Wagnalls Stith-Thompson Motif Index of Folklore. Now it was possible to link a symbol…a thorn say, with as many stories as had been indexed and what the associations might be.
This is important because the darker side has plucked many familiar icons and motifs from the world available to it and twisted their reappearance so as to impose a certain subconscious association. One example is the owl…a symbol of wise protection and awareness. The opposite nearly is the case.
Owls today in this shadow world going back an age represent the old folklore figure of Moloch..of child sacrifice, and parents unable to speak of a lost child themselves unable to draw that inference will relapse as it were with only an owl image to comfort them in the nighttime. Few are aware but the reliance on an image for relief is actually a new terror..an unseen night terror, that lives in the mind of child or parent as a sort of inhibiting thought, yet one in its innocence can disinhibit parents looking for childcare or a hospital. I refer you to an article I researched in 2002 over the Cardinal McGlennon Childrens hospital here to get this over with now, though there the association is a direct reference to Disney a san arbiter of Children’s healthcare.
Now owls are a pleasant association filled symbol for wisdom or a sentinel of protection fierce in protecting its young. In the world of nature you would not want an owl as your enemy. The old stories told by the camp fire alluded to by Mircea Eliade would have used owls as a potent symbol of the emotions of fear and silent flight with a deadly capability. And more, for we have lost all but the most potent meme and it may have suffered manipulation over the millennia.
A fact of minor relevance to getting ill or getting better is there are many owls in our current media and many many owls in ornamental form or discarded art in Charity shops. We rely on them. And they convey an overt and a covert compelling message of great utility or they would not impinge on our attention or unconscious minds so much. A psychiatric water fountain may look like one. A psychiatric door lock may mimic an owl in its essentials.
I argue this is no accident. A delicately balanced patient might have had any amount of monarch programming. Numbers are seemingly massive because the icons, motifs, symbols, triggers and reminders are all over the place. Some images are peculiar to this variant and some for that. The exposure to all that imagery is or can be random, I am thinking, yet toachieve a tabula rasa for. say , all the attendees at an international conference of businessmen, might be not an ergonomic problem but perhaps a logistical one.
We are starting to hear the phrase “persons of interest” and we are starting to hear the phrase “targeted persons”. WE need a motif index or a glossary for this evolutionary amusement park but first we need to agree something odd is going on to traumatise so many for so many centuries. Are elites as masters and populations as slaves an ample sufficiency for the costs?
Remember the owl image, it does a lot of work for the program as a reassuring image to the conscious mind, but a cruel imposter for those it inhibits with its child sacrifice associations through history.
I remember that in the new information sciences proposed in the 1940’s Totalitarian countries longed for joined up thinking to meet National ambitions. I forget the terms now as it was so long ago but it was systems theory not Human Rights. I should have mentioned them: rights which can be obliterated in a democracy like some Arab Spring supposed successes and in even a benevolent dictatorship so beloved by an old but now dead friend for whom the only good day he had in the war was the last one. Children’s folk tales and modern media emphasise whatever meme, icon, symbol or trigger comes to mind, and there is no blame there…I might be doing a terrible thing to try to create a motif-index. Follow the owl image for its colonisation of the shelves in a charity shop or the special place in our minds for triggers of significance. Or follow the image of a bed in the children’s folk tales of old because there are few images more potent than where you spend the time of liminance where Monarch programming or the Extreme Process first introduces itself through some intermediary cartoon of your mind.
My psychiatric bed was unassisted by careful parents…but it was at just the right height. And it has a pump up and down capability which was restored to all the beds after about 10 days of occupancy. I guessed before that they had been set firmly in one standard position as workers tested them with the footpedal to see that they responded as free to move, or “Way to Go” if a PR slogan were needed. Check out the Japanese film “Welcome to the quiet room”. The programmers of other countries can physically can get their hands on someone for a few hours apparently, because they rely on their specialised beds, and ergonomic programming chairs to impart ergonomic trauma which hops from good cop to bad cop . In its reliance on a special design of furniture this is a survival of the intent to strip victims in any room so equipped.
I prefer the survivals of our childlike-certain safe rest and some undirected random peaceful ruminations on the lessons of the day. But then can I trust my mind now we are where we are?
Bed making is easier if the height of the mattress is at least 2 feet from the floor, but anything higher (great for avoiding fleas) is less convenient to get into. Beds in Melbury Lodge were height adjustable (with a mesh base for that old problem, moisture release), They then, craving lubrication, began to squeak. Still, progress I thought.
No one would change a fixity to a flexibility for those benefits with a known patient half in and half out of bed (making a point I surmised at an anonymous but real example’s inability to communicate beyond his compass, if they sought an unnerving squeak might sensitise a critical acute patient imagining some biblical scourge with each sagging squeak.I expect someone somewhere has found moving in bed, uncomfortable at night, has made their condition precipitate.
Personal note: In my house I have a king size double and a single spare bed , both frames made or contrived by myself in a manic blur of action.
My home made double bed ( height 31 inches to mattress top) divides into two single identical beds, they are bolted together, but on, thereby 8 substantial wheels. The single bed height is also higher than usual at 29 inches. That is the height of an office desk, but you may have seen video’s of human sporting action upon even office desks. You may remember this repurposing if I remind you I have strengthened most planes of the double with hospital issue car boot sourced toilet white painted steel curved safety handrails for ease of movement I swear, but yes, as it happens worthy of a Japanese Shibari master, not that that is any of anyone’s business. You Tube shows the thought and care that a gardener with Japanese trees or a obsessive but hopefully not compulsive set of desires can practice without harm? I have yet to find beds that will outperform my own examples for the costs incurred. I did source from someone going abroad a king size memory foam mattress. Oooops though, my research after the purchase was that in the USA there were health related class-action lawsuits against the makers (Tempur). Thanks to the materials and advertising reviews masking complex chemicals not found in in nature a lot of people developed complaints. An English maker known to the Design Council accepts no complaints for the first 3 months, as people do need to become familiar and unusual beds have to work hard to be accepted.… Also memory foam tends to retain moisture..litres of moisture per person per night, and experts are still not happy with them for the above 2 reasons.
In my last job I would fix broken furniture to enrich our Department when others erred… making equipment sacrifices where two items were disregarded and discarded for dissimilar component failure. I was told to desist for reasons of health and safety.
By the way, a bedroom chair that appeared In my Melbury Lodge patient bedroom found for me from some kind donor was weak in the base, too soft for safety, too low for a safe recline from standing and had a screw or two loose. Big firms choose well from commercially successful supply catalogues Psychiatric suppliers seem behind or under- hand with patient lives.
The kindness of the chair unasked for showed the ward had its own pace and that I might keep a watchful eye out for gift horse’s coming my way least they be Trojan and I become Spartacus. There seems to be a battle between angelic suppliers of life’s comforts to settle a fellow and dark side machinations to precipitate an illness so it can better be seen by those who know the signs..and they are in every medical book if you need to see what they are.
Hospitals everywhere use polyester or cotton/polyester mixes as they wash well, yet traditionally linen sheets had a following for the same reason. That is, before we all ( the rest of us) changed to just a bottom sheet, duvet and top covering for daytime. That is according to a 30 year expert in bedding, who says hospitals have yet to make the much overdue change. and he has the facts and product knowledge to prove the change will benefit everyone. This knight of the night was at a Trade Show for working boats and ships I attended on my release as last year for maritime security interests, and the MD was paul.Hallatt@ShipShapeIMO.co.uk .
An industry network usually is a combination to progress some agenda or other. I trust good honest experience preferably from another discipline where cross fertilisation of ideas leapfrogs the gatekeeper’s of knowledge. The professionalisation of a craft offers those who work from 9 to 5, have a monopoly on others time or opinions and know what they are doing.
I have a brochure for the new international certification for mattresses at sea. All these products are MED wheel marked IMO compliant and have a USCG number. The website for a quick free gawp is http://www.ShipShapeIMO.co.uk
This is why as a librarian I support the cross fertilisation of ideas from any sort of package or range of titles. There is a danger in the purity of ideas which are not even classifications, they are just working taxonomies.
Even the self appointed and recognised bible of Psychiatry proves it is not the science it craves to be, namely the still controversial Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders comprehensive (DSM-5) settler of disputed diagnoses . Remember classifications are almost never a true map for the territory they claim to be. They are just paradigms of varying honesty or usefulness for an underlying need to control or explain.
Someone might try telling you hypomania is a disease or laugh at a condition which happens to enjoys a good joke. But a lifetime career can be lost in a moment’s disinhibition. And I say that looking at a book cover of Steve Jobs a businessman who was focused on the potential for whatever prize he at that moment envisaged not the progress of his staff.
He might fire a tricky question at an employee in a lift they shared and they would be fired when they got to their desk. I prefer the mathematics of justice to the arithmetic of envy or striking a pose. And yet the British newspaper printing industry in the 70’s or for the sake of argument the Police Federation can be put up against a wall and it is hard to tell them apart with say a classification based on resources put in and outcomes got er out.
I would love to see a proper classified and exponential report on CommonPurpose. I have had them in my sights within the NHS for a while and someone called MLECKY seems so immersed in NHS scandals I fear to read his opinions or facts in a world where if you rob someone of their reputation and nail the truth a world can be lost which was innocent. This was my chance to cooperate with them, and I chose to keep this unipolar!
That is why this report is so long, so naive and so hesitant where misheard or misdirecting opinions flow from every orifice from any person or place or computer keyboard..
I know much that is wrong with the world and have experienced much also of the rationality that a psychiatric ward embodies, enjoying the reductio ad absurd am of finding medications restore the world to straight and level and er square., though I here am looking for the fault lines that I say exist. I have seen patients awake from a poor choice of resting place and go mental with the obstructions real or imagined soon presenting in their world. And yet we never learn or teach well enough as it keeps happening in a relentless assault on our brightest and most hoped for avenues to or back to health. There is a logic to this. The avenues back to health involve guns and roses, or at least being pricked till we bleed a little. It is a useful competitive edge to recovery even if you become a captive of this process,
I knew that much was wrong about the two wards who precipitated my recovery. It kinda grew from sleeping a bit fitfully and attributable to the only irritant I could sense..the bedding not the bed. The full story is a bit more complicated. We can sing in the rain if we are warm well fed and rested…because disinhibition makes for happy people ready to praise the stars or the flowers they can see wherever they help a story along.
Personal experience with the NHS cotton top sheet and the NHS Sunlight Polyester C-901 blue top sheet ( C = cellular) was that they would wrap themselves together and need remaking in the early hours. I these days instinctively know when something is not right.
It makes everything you can find out about me
starting at: about.me/timoxylene.barbabutanol
a sensible precaution. One innovation which worked was to lay an oversupplied white fluffy towel beneath the undersheet. Such free to air workarounds should be unnecessary and the problem lay in the conjunction of materials that proved to divert a patient from sleep. Why is this. I met an expert who had a solution.
Existing provision cheekily offers “tell-tales”. A blocked sectional top surface memory foam mattress sort of aerates the base a little and usefully indicates whether the sleeper slept lightly, or with many turns, or slept “heavily” in one position? Wards may wish to inhibit or disinhibit night roles. It helped until I remembered hospital corners. An improved sleep should result from buying the right sort of duvets ore or less like the rest of us have , all of us, at home.
Mental health ward patients are likely to sleep heavily if subdued or sedated but simple facts might be needed to collect for the record of a patients progress without tiresome repeated observations, Some bedding makes restless leg syndrome (which I have) akin some say as bad as or like torture. I concur, torture can include sleep deprivation and torturers of the world only remain in the public eye as a sort of threat whilst the real torture changes perceptions by silent and invisible submarining beneath the covers. I know a bit about submarining.
That reminds me to offer my disarming skills as a secure transport Volvo ambulance provider for an adventurous experiment where a strapped in criminally insane patient would find if they cooperate in the trial a little bit of uplifting freedom the change in them would effect a transformative shift upwards and out not downwards and into a captive footwell.
Or it might be a missing bundles of trouble disaster. So far I seem to have broken all those who were proud and as hard as nails with their own terrible story by just wanting to tell this one . When patients can see no one is to blame and the dramatise personae were just statistical conjunctions of happenstance their and my and sticking out as nails and and getting stuck into the sanctity of the ward becomes a sharing of a sacred trust. Oh, and as I found, word gets round in and even between wards. This is not for those seeking privacy or closure. The benefits of engagement are no marriage need be forced or papered over.
An uplift using some freedom (even if a hospital ward is a fast lane via this struggle) is more supportive in peacetime and may avert or simplify war, for even the last one ashore.
… a big heavy man ( I am one) can give beds and chairs and sheets a severe test. And any sort of gift makes for a smooth runnings.
This has an overall term hypertaxia. Trust me, Monarch Program programmers work secretly. The NHS is not necessarily fully aware. They may overlook look people who express symptoms of interest like hypertaxia and tick enough boxes for others outside their general overview. Why? Many have reverse engineered this as the only possible explanation… monarch programming…it appears to be derived from our old “Imperial Conditioning”….and the latest exponents and those skilled in the art do different work. A new recruit might be a patient presenting with the elusive ability to switch or perform in desired ways when in a changed state of mind. To inhibit or disinhibit at will seems the goal…for anyone, so claiming one usual suspect over another is a game for internet watchers not observers. The difference is everything that a person can get, give, find or lose.
This is a view I never held with any great fixity until it explained “everything”. This is not recommended as confirmed fact or opinion provable with evidence. In fact it is toxic. Like bad ergonomics and the intention to make someone worse before they get better.
And that is the point. What is the intention and who if anyone, is pulling the levers remotely and without a chain of command apparent? Is it all cheap and tawdry for all the mystery?
So, an early switch from fact to opinion. So a claim as it must remain a claim. I hate unnecessary cruelty and now the search for “switching” people between disinhibited and inhibited surely does not need so many to be put through the old fashioned ringer?
Most of my early retirement has been to explore ergonomics as being cheaper to fashion than a wife..to live quietly and in harmony. But in that bond the trust is too elusive for many.
Check out this Aril 1961 evidence for a parent anxious damage done would outlive his guardianship as a teacher who could do no more than I , then, but I stand upon his shoulders to bring you this and this.
In the 1960’s my father unhappy at the packaged news and TV entertainments formed a Look Listen group here in Southampton, we would not trust strangers with our children and by the 60’s television had been populated with challenging ideas some standards thought a danger to the ergonomics of growing not adulthood. Here is an example. The answer is at least 30 or 40 years from the adults breaking a bond placed there as children.
As a librarian who researched the subject of theme parks in 2002 I do not rule out someone is playing with mind control at every level. Even pre natal acoustics have sought an advantage. . An early retirement facilitates two recent hospitalisations as I became aware of triggers and had to be shown opportunities to pacify us each or all. But trauma has been the first resort.
And is the most damaging envelope so few will open to see what lies beneath. So much of the corroborating evidence is already available. The Mengele angle after this post shows it is not above arguing over as we have that luxury. Oh, and I found this: add to this children with ADHD (a switching condition like autismm spectra illnesses of strategic interest… that might avert a war or empty Nort Korean slave camps according to the model I have ben fed if modelled by the West shall we say wherever it is found…and…scores of them who suffer trauma when a theatre showing the dog in the nighttime play has a circle collapse. Hyper vigilance would not imagine a deliberate assist to a National emergency to find the switches all the better unless it itself had had the trauma. Capiche?
An accelerating series of escalating trials resulting will do it as my 2002 innocent research cautiously predicted. This is that supposition told on paper that needs getting out of the way now. Trust me, this is known and leaks are understandable.
This is the archive version of the 2002 research: This is supernumerary in discussing beds and sleep, for beds are an innocent tabula rasa upon which many have been slain by other errors of man by others who are not so particular. Promotion by seeking expertise that way is a rocket ship into space, morally. Best get back to the basics for a good night’s sleep in a therapeutic environment. What can possibly go wrong?
That is the one supposition I have seen grow like a snowball and serve a need for answers.
I propose an early trial between the existing arrangements in the hospital wards and any solution my bedding expert or any other source can provide to spec for a required sensible budget. He is aware of fire, health and safety issues and says the world is ready to provide hospitals with a better offer.
Such mattresses are a compromise because of trapping moisture. Modern thinking is to use a 10mm thick Dry-Mat aerating polyester mesh mattress overlay that supports the body and removes vapours sideways. I do this with my precious audio amplifier.
The ward bed I checked beneath me has a helpful supportive metal mesh base is from Huntleigh Healthcare(WS10 7BR) rated for 180kg and seems equal to either solution. So no issues with the bed itself for existing or enhanced deployment…but why the sudden height release during my stay…most changes that are successful have many authors? Sudden changes when funny things are going on may have felt, unfelt, expressed or unexpressed causation.
I hate secrecy, measured steps or circumferential thinking. I prefer openness with as little secrecy as possible. If we are free we gravitate to a good cause. Do we not? And I hate slavery of ideas more than most.
It avoids so many subsequentials which follow with a predictability we must really be stupid to have wasted all the money brains time and energy sheltering a trouble for us all instead of expelling it. I like to see things expressed now, but some say that is going too fast for some.
As you may conclude, most secrets are out there now anyway. and the most secret institution on the planet that has an evidential testable provenance, the Americans National Security Agency, lost all its data (except three categories) according to my prompting to feel confident about my disclosures..it is all already out there.…and if not I am up for this story as long as others will learn the lessons a hypomanic clot can walk all over and make those who observe rules fearful or hopefully laugh until they cry.
And just as some wags ask where is the evidence for mental illness…(I have seen plenty) some might do well and ask what of the parasitical illuminati, are they kosher or a false flag to distract us from the er well now if they are any good it should be the NSA. I go to sleep wondering if I know this stuff at all. I usually conclude I have got further than anyone I know by telling everybody that this is so. But to listen to the wise men or women that know, you may as well have made the presumptions that arise from questions not silent men’s answers. And it is all rather shabby, when you look deep into every lifetime.
That is not a fact, it is not an opinion, it is a disappointment the very next corrective experience might reverse? But it is still the individual /world at large freedom to act or gang solution debate which makes men my age get grumpy and complain a lot and forget the other person needs to sleep too. By the way expert opinion is that double beds are not a good idea.. but what can you do?
An acute ward has patients with different needs as far a sleep is concerned, and a change in this practice is needed along with the experience and opinion of my source. I rely on the stated opinions of a man with 30 years in the business. And a new distrust for the kind but failed offerings I here descry for the sake of making things better. This complaint put into effect would be like singing an unnecessary anti war song. Complaints that are so focused need laser like clarity and research. This is just the springing of an idea back into wards from where it should never have been stolen .
The NHS for all its focus groups ( I tried to save Woodhaven at a public consultation designed, I am used to this, to tick a box) and its Southampton General suggestion box a silent cry away from my father’s situation who had had a fall which glued him to a non existent safety mat until a new shift came on or some such thing.
I at least complained against what I claimed must only be an otherwise comfortably invisible and silent process of Euthanasia by NLP. If you think I joke go spend 2 hours on an NHS ward of really old people. You might be lucky.
Recently I caught on…the penny dropping for a change… as hypomanics really are without the sensitivities that prevent disclosures or realisations in others. My family, active in the age of the British Empire as far back as I went, nearly all ended their days with the RSH hospital on the death certificate. Any encounters with the Empire and its Imperial Conditioning of the day would not be written in clay or stone of course, just the fair winds and in running water.
My mother as a theatre nurse there was in the sluice and was given the leg of her stepmother after helping with one precursor operation. Death is just designed to stop everything happening at once and , now past that unknown threat for a pace, it simply means I should get this report done ASAP for the sake of surely the bits you should have been highlighting that can change bad for better. In league with the facts and in respect of the opinions where I think we are on our way to a new collective noun for them.
We know, do we not emotions sharpen perceptions beyond the pale, and the Operation Artichoke and the military Operation Often and the eclipsing by the NSA of really sneaky Monarch programming have used too many for too long even if credence stretches to war being averted thus. So let the complaints visible and structured within the human and physical resources of the NHS and its satellites thus far stand. Good points need to stand for they are the tracks of arguments and tears in equal measure that carried the 6 million to the furnaces which escalated the fight to find the switches for a master elite and slave nations. Is that a new view of history? It is an arguing point mirrored from life and death overrunning the buffers who used to run the world. Now no-one is happy.
The Rothschilds have been hung out in the history of Monarch programming as a sort of illuminati ruling family line with their people everywhere . They get my attention simply because at a bridge in a day of my own being got at with this program a Rothschild represented in the way this is done was gently but forcefully expressing a deep concern with the lines of ivy running up or down a tree. (a hypo maniac will not worry about a direction..as long as ideas are moving a little) . This movement..or stagnation, of whatever it was, children, ideas, wine, vines of some treasure of which a hypomanic cares little until it is gone…was a lesson. The tragedy, the trauma of a cut line, expanding in the minds eye beyond life.and finding all spaces were taken. Most conspiracy leaning writers launch their ships with the rocket fuel of death or decay.
This was a sentiment for the future, from those that had had the best of it. This imaginary friend aristocratically rebuffed my claiming back a lost princess whilst I was in this mental state. That was in the world of Tim my own so delicate, so tragic a still sweet story, or, maybe, sadly it was all in this fabricated world a script, the better to control a mood or emoting slave. I had now seen too many locked into this gang-banging corporate raiding sensationalist power dressing manipulative bed this one then that blackmail cult. I guessed simple compromising to protect one thing from another to and fro according to fortune and hostages to it was inevitably thanks to laying to waste those overtaken by the fittest. And often via mistakes in the bedroom.
The presumed Rothschild top flight success stories carefully avoiding exposure or being overtaken in the past and maintaining a noblesse oblige hegemony… like the UK Royals, now seeing thanks to the web most probably the waste bucket of Monarch programming was in the hands of fools and the psychiatric wards have the growing statistical movers and shaken.
Do you remember a sad Rothschild senior lamenting the lost lines, the lost children, the denial of life as represented in a tree covered in ivy or some better substitute? I suppose think the vines = life. Not just his lot…it takes other lives to come around to the sort of pleasure Ayaan Hirsi Ali has given her new husband which would make a Jewish father start to dance just with his hands as I learned to do from somewhere. Luckily I taught another so the skill now lost as I subside in my senses, another can take up.
So much of it, the past, like the choices for one design over another, or thinking of beds and lying on them) one coupling of generations with another in a Moslem family thinking traditionally, involves silly rules or stupid collateral contributions or paying tribute to a sort of “tradition” that perpetuates not fit for purpose leadership or governance. That is a long winded way to say, as a fool or joker now… I am going back to paying my stamps and writing a report to the NHS. If anyone calls me “husband” I will start to get out of whatever I am in.
Information about what is really going on meets obfuscation and litanies copied from other practiced divide and rule methods of controlling information with nothing speak,
I saw this in 30 years in that other Cinderella service, Further Education, and Principals keen to copy at least best practice. Principals were not, then. even in control of the beast that is an enduring organisation. Colleges are an idea. They seek the best clothes to make it look good in the Limelight. .Self praise? Melbury , Antelope and the NHS will have as many policies as a modern day Charlie Chaplin’s agent in Hollywood would have today. The performing arts possess a hell on earth to stay on top of influencing us all..
NHS Complaints are actually entertained in the sense of the manager, and that persons manager, and no one else more often than not can be involved for the delicacy of a new found privacy . The horror stories, the real ones, are thereby contained.
The initiative of denial of this or that passes muster because the salt has to be passed that way because we do it that way or career paths might suffer. Responsibility is maintained n ways and policies and a status quo, remember that no one is to blame. Visiting time? Are the staff still looking at blank screens trying to find meaningful words? They write on computers, but the 3 a day handover meetings are all talk and a few sheets of paper. So who reads the computer output oops, input.
One staff member casually thought probably no one..management by exception is the method where a manager ignores everything until there is a complaint and then terrorises the departure from a policy which probably could do with shall we s ay a review? by which this hypomanic worked in a library for 30 years. No one read my stuff anyway until 2002. And then they stopped. Do they know what to do with a pencil and notebook judges regard as superior evidence, Oh, and notes taken on on numbered pages as in the security industry notebook my friends laughed at. filched from a security conference.
Best if everyone is open transparent and accountable. Until then no one can really be accountable. An investigation involving the manager concerned and their manager requires the highest degree of professionalism and I have seen plenty of struggling to find the words when the policy is undefendable.
And the reverse panopticon? That is my point, but a motif index of torture even the subtle craft of the NSA or what it has inherited, just the mention of Mengele…it IS toxic.
I sought some CCTV of a crime and was told I had to return the tape when the Site manager realised a whole day had disappeared to my custody, lest I disadvantage someone’s human rights or I forget the policy of denial of justice now. Job’s are worth more than prurience. But the video would have shown the crime, the time and the perpetrator from a limited number of possibilities. CCTV was a home spun device used after two break ins at the weekend just when I was researching monarch programming for 5 weeks straight in 2002 . I have that video that was a slow record of the following weekend.…how come? No one was really interested and this was cooling out the mark…an important function in healthcare. I might offer it to the Tate one day and let the public search and destroy any perp and his reputation to save time. Yes, I know it could be a loop…you are catching on.
Derren Brown keeps asking “Ask to see the evidence” I spent weeks learning all I needed to know from three lights in the ceiling. And were a judge to ask about my investigative journalism escapade that perhaps closed down a ward , and where was my evidence, I would have to say I was there thanks to a dream and it was all a super wheeze and would restore all aggrieved people by forgiving them (thanks Eva Moses Kor)
so no one would need to feel guilt, fear, doubt or secrecy was needed and that I achieved this by getting into a secure psychiatric ward by presenting as pregnant (It has actually happened ) and from there seeing the future and coming back abandoned by Derren Brown who has gone on as a sort of sliver of existence to make sure things go on OK, er I suppose. And er yes the baby is, well in order to get all the necessary permissions I sort of slept with a divine but cautious being who wanted to see what it was like being or sensing what it was like to be a human going through a revelatory change . But then I had to persuade the reverse side of the coin..not an image now so much as a heavily breathing restraining himself person locked up for too long for his own good with the news of all bets being off, no rules really and anyway all the problems were caused (according to a …woman)…who simply asked what started the rift.? Only a woman would ask?… the rest of us fight, resist, grit our teeth, squeeze out a symbol of suffering and still, thus he system view prevails. Yeah? Anyway…….when someone important on some Mountain top lets say….long time ago…obviously…broke a rule and was banished and all his line forever, a debt of punishment passing to a down the line child sacrifice thing. But at any age lest you think I read that 700 page work on Hasidic or some such sort of child sacrifice. I felt sorry for the guy, few would buy and fewer read his life’s work, and if this is true he might be? So what with milkmen and adultery and suchlike, war and so the supposed family line gets lost in time and bizarre punishments just carry on, no one listening… like an owl that isn’t there… or a ceiling light in the nighttime.. maybe a star, I dunno I am making this up as best I can remember. Yup you guessed it, it is all here now about interrogation. And stuff. so, with cruelty machinated onto a line and tit for tat everything goes wrong for everyone , never mind war and stuff. The comforts would be minimal and coded over the years with few a rare of the struggle, but remembering the joy of a new father, er mother, er dancer or er… something. So all these wronged people, but the cause is so lost in time it makes no odds. But they are dead? Or disadvantaged by this ancient bad thing…yeah? People might try to intervene but no one gets it….no one but a fool would hazard into such territory. People who know are too valuable to use anything other than a proxy. And there are so many of those this becomes an industry. Called Hollywood…or religion…or mindfullness…or whatever works because the dead still have to forgive the ones who put them down..over like centuries yeah? So you get guarantees and the guy at the top talks eventually… via a proxy..I was there….to the guy at the bottom..who sounded like a friend I helped up to a point called Derek, to forgive the person above him in terms of wrongfulness. Heh heh. Most guilt is manufactured anyway so that real guilt can be diverted elsewhere. Or something. And you can see..or Eva Moses Kor could see where this might be going. Nobody was really to blame. ER Oh, yes they are dead right, but creative editorial licence allows a speculative development that once the mountain top is attained…it is all down hill. I explain the guy at the bottom will be free, and a survey of his people …I saw it in front of me and pressed the NSA/Derren button(?) that said to er the unfortunates locked up in a sort of metaphorical ward…I am trying to use allegory here…”We are doing some research, and would like to know if you would like to sample” a little freedom,” if so respond now” . I saw that and was honoured to press the send button by whoever has been working on this, sorry Judge it was sort of in a room with three lights. And the result was proof of concept. I don’t remember staying for tea but I might have heard a bit of a laugh that threw me for a moment..like a fellow patient praying for days to his presumed God…I was deliberately vague about that…Anyway, the demonstration I did on my kitchen floor later with some salt and a shoehorn and some tubes of insulation and so on seemed to seal the deal, and as a proxy I figured I would have some sort of immunity if the freedom thing got out of hand. I figured, well , if Derren has left me here because I am tainted by Monarch (and he is not? Duh?) and has gone on to block things in a future world (I had had the unsteady ground thing and everyone having one last theme ride) then he will block anyone or thing making things worth and I and we are on our own..er..with our new friends hopefully?
I did go through a scenario where this was sort of anticipated and put into a performance fed into the theme park to change the demonic sensationalism of their preferences with a patched in sort of Charlie Chaplin valediction that would have them..and I think I heard before things went wrong true crowds laughing. Ah yes, then the doors to the hospital started to be kicked in and people started to walk around looking for targets for their attention. The staff were clearing off but had nowhere to go really and once again..
This was like at the clinic for terminating things which could have happened anywhere before the official admission…where I was embarrassed to slip away with a selectivey arranged offer of escape…(but I felt that I had at least infiltrated a situation I could not believe anyway as true with my story..see later)…I was moved quickly on..to Melbury I think. It was a resort by comparison and the price was to produce this report,
The previous arrival at Antelope had set off 11 alarms where i was first encouraged to seek a berth…and I remember the attitude was polite only as far as being harsh and insensitive… and this from a Polish staffer, a people who suffered so much in the war and whom I had been always told to remember. Well, That seemed a bit too hot but I can say as I left I set off four alarms, and felt they were the poorer. Perhaps they had lots to do if this ever does become information wars. Better out than in I say. And that is interrogation, but to break I did have electroshock and water boarding, as far as I can retain sense and internal trust.
So Judge? is this a reasonable expectation that I do get triangular number plates and a Volvo ambulance to take dangerous psychiatric patients on 5 day tastes of freedom between old and new hospitals that will try these new techniques when they have established trust with moi as a proxy? I met a few, but I was too busy trying to decode stupid things like locks when I should have been picking their brains, not they me?
I by experience have tried to prove wiser, than man who keeps his own counsel. . I usually publish everything so that where I fashion someone’s reputation as if of clay, you can see where I get the idea from, and why my conclusions were kind and offered a peace pipe in the library and not a Cluedo lead one. Not many people can claim to have met a war criminal when researching their work and not recognised them until 9 years later. But because I did, or believed I did, I researched the subject some more in self defence of course and that led to : the same view as Eva Moses Kor…to forgive. She though used the instincts she had. I used the principle in law of mens rea. i.e. he was a victim of the scheme strong enough to entrap anyone then, and was not fully capable of legal consent to his actions. So many are quick to anger…this man was the eminence grise in so many lives.
I have had to withdraw from a patient meeting if a potential source requests it on being told I regarded anything as a source. Journalists might splutter, but wars are lost without that. It got me noticed as “very brave” when in fact I wanted to have a nap. I thought it best before a potential source has spoken I make sure I have, and information starts to flow anyway.when observances like that are offered. Journalists are supposed never to reveal their sources. I have been taught by the best and I am saying here nothing is private at the moment.
The real work of meetings is done outside the meeting. Capiche? Sacrifice? I wrote the book to get to here, and all so you could feel better about doing nothing…or making a tiny difference when you see an “extreme process” at work. I had some of it last night…the non existent shackle on the left ankle buzzing away with a leaden sensation. I love that stuff. No. I hate that stuff, and death I have seen in my heart more than once to get to hear. Simulated of course.
I have no doubts after 3 years of light torture the thing is a military/civilian thing with the subtlety of that dreadful American Nascar racetrack survival of the fittest. And all deniable. But the physical reach necessary so as to deny contact, or hurt just enough to wound and cauterise is made for good reason…like limiting a complaint to manager or two. The quarry is so well known and the precursors so many a programmer becomes like a nurse who knows at a glance what is the thing going on and how to subvert any departure from “the way to go”. Even if they are a product themselves of the process.
Hypomanics can be so easily mis-read. set to leave them alone in a productive phase, keep them fed and watered and maybe, maybe, insist on sleep because they are on a knife edge.
More to say? As if my life depended upon it! So many people need to know how this ends, so far the outcomes for others have met the cartoon like proof of on my kitchen floor of how will I know an adventure like this might actually have some merit in a world of reactive suppressive knee jerk responses like “men can’t have babies”. Oh yes they can, unless it was an April 1st series of lies over a year or more as the first pregnancy failed but a later one succeeded. Just saying. If you have friends like I have who know I would relish bringing attention to my preoccupations with such a conceit then you have a motivation and half a script. I was even sick four times. NSA that was, I wasn’t ready just then for that. Pride. Corroboration. Play a part…even someone hyper vigilant sworn to never let anyone tell them what to write was now in a laboratory jar. and one that was in a centrifuge with only the essential precautions provided after an unknown event to my simple mind..still Derren Brown must have been in involved, or so someone was pushing into my in-tray.
We have sometimes got to pick a pocket or two and we all have to sleep sometime. I know this because I once found myself looking into a distorting mirror unsure if I was still alive, having lost memory, understanding and clinging to the will to be heard when I sorted out an anomaly or two in a ward here and there. Had I gone on and followed the relentless pace when manic in Antelope House ward to use their locked room of computers I would have failed. They had two prominent stainless masked and pierced patient machines that were the “come on”, nasty ergonomics and no chairs I remember. What sort of an invitation is that..a sort of PR poster campaign patients have computer access but not what you might hope. If you show interest as a result or they get impatient and push you harder you are in a world of believing pixels on a screen put there for you to find by peole more skilled in the art than most on this planet….and they are trying to browbeat, stretch, punish or recruit you. And yes they did offer me a job within a couple of days…which I refused. This, then . is a freebie for those that pursue truth or lies through infection or prophylaxis according to whatever is needed for the moment.
I know how to use a computer as a consumer and can surprise observers as a former Chartered librarian with some hypomanic speed and associative excellence by most standards, yet it is a self fulfilling con, because I use just quick and dirty scanning that saved me labour in 30 years library work and no one could know what I didn’t find be seizing some clue when I did based on all that lazy experience. But in a bent psychiatry we are talking information wars and I would be at a disadvantage in a competitive world when all I do is beat the bounds and try tricks to check for the edges a bit.
The sort of people who are amazed at this “productivity” are people who do not know what a pen and paper can be used for and never had the teachers I had. Hypomanics drive themselves to make the world better as they see things. But from today the Government’s DWP is my enemy for the reason that they have the most to gain by this. And are the probably client.
Computer warfare anyway is an escalation for all Government departments never mind would be supra governmental supposed bogeymen . Remember that when I say many suffer a series of escalating trials. That is the military. That is what the hospital ward actually is. I like to wake from an un-troubled sleep and look myself in the eye ready to repel the Pirates of what our classrooms, the BBC, journalism and libraries used to be. Today I go to sleep and my senses, visual and touch tell me as soon as I hit the pillow if I am to be tortured even after all of this, 2 nights ago now I was treated to a new typography of lined art in the eye to match the variable tinnitus…a sort of claim on my attention and atoll were I playing poker with things . I let the compelling imagery mentally dissolve, before I follow the narrative I know is there and disrupts the mind. I doubt it is a brand or commonplace thing and it would be a waste of my time to pursue this here now, it will have no equal yet and when I have this here and now to publish.
But sometimes physical clues lend credence if not provable evidence to a story, or at least make you aware of estimable dodgy surroundings. Some people think I am a spy for this but friends at least wonder about what I am saying and why to explain my multiple explanations i listen to the trees and lost my watch to one in a bet it would still be there 5 weeks later.
I reported in my hypomanic assiduous way that my room over the basin mirror (plastic for safety) when pressed in the middle (by virtue of the circumferential double sided adhesive), would distort the image in a way that might not be helpful. An acute ward might have normal nocturnal gawping at the basin with or without water needed to cool a feverish mood and the image returned might be checked with that other sense…touch. Prodding an image rather than caressing ones features might result in an avoidable freak mirror show, a demonic flustered or horrified return compliment. The first replacement mirror offered in my room was no better…the lesson was no void where a finger pokes. The adhesive bond had to be across the void, not creating it. And frustrated for reasons of corporate responsibility I copied the practice in my own home to actually experiment to the point of having as evidence a proven trial.
I was approached by a staff member from another floor. I call these usually well embedded “deus ex machina” managers the Monarch Programming name “Mother’s of Darkness” from at least their corresponding splendid attire worthy of an ornithology description in corporate power dressing. I saw effectively a uniform, equal to the script kiddies that came in in baseball hats and hoodies seriously screwed up. I supposed they were safe enough if they here dropped the programming that makes them an individual case of the monarch condition that puts them in the uniform of their role at the bottom of the program. Presumably in information wars at least between competing nations some will be cuckoo eggs in the national nest planted by a competing nation or er interest. I do not know this but motivated people even if a war is faked and they know it will do as is whatever their handlers are told to achieve.
In my ward I was approached by a staff circulating previously as a planet or a moon and one in an identifiable condition that fits and communicates the monarch programming role of backing up the system and acting as a filter to information.
For the record female power dressing black and white duality clothing and an equally immaculate and expensive pair of red (Wizard of Oz program) patent shoes, came my way in one day half way through my being sectioned here. I had been noticed but for being honest which means information will start coming my way, and some will be bogus. Hyper-vigilants are expected to know the difference between real and fake..in a breath. This in a world of Derren Brown capabilities and trauma allowed sanctions or points made. When you know the stakes you will betray anyone for a supposed greater “point”. Encryption staff are so focused on success they will murder colleagues if they suppose that are developing a better algorithm, which shows in a rational institution staff may behave irrationally. They may, as I did, follow what to them seems to have its own internal logic. And in a secret world, or a medically private world, oversight and supervision and complaints and auditing become problems. Especially if the organisation has opposing goals..to make patients better, and to make patients for the moment, worse.
I had said I was happy to be admitted voluntarily in any hospital until someone wanted to do that paperwork if it made things easier. Those with a safety or security blanket prefer known cable tows. An NLP keen Doctor though I asked to withdraw or speak face to face with no such pretence. NLP influences patients when they want to try it, and inhibits or disinhibits them so all relationships are agreeing ones.
Boyfriends, girlfriends, colleagues, you cannot tell what is real unless you see it and spot the earnest from the manipulative punt. And proxies can hide the source. I have even “changed” the “mood” of a Member of Parliament’s wife when prompted within the scheme and without my connivance. They loved that. I hated the implications. They all try it. People need to be able to recognise NLP in action. I did a course and told them as a fair to the class provocation I was looking for a scandal. I took two friends as sort of corroborative distractions . I met real whizzes who lost interest when I was clearly not equally skilled. But that was at the same mistake the ward made, secure in their locks and remote control of doors, in this case of people only trying to hide their inside knowledge…some NLP practitioners have copyrighted and trademarked and used intellectual property law for moves that change a patient with extreme reliability. The whizz bought in to check me out seeing no countermoves bit innocence..they saw no threat from an “outsider” .
In 2002 I researched this for 5 weeks solid and my research stands today.
Just in case I forget the link elsewhere. In that extraordinary bit between the teeth I was assessed by a known programmer and as an innocent presented no risk. As such as long as you try to explain EVERYTHING even they who dictate things want to see what manner of mongrel can be patched together then or later. It can get complicated but it is like the Melbury Lodge ward or the Antelope House ward…are you good to go? Are you in need of inhibiting? Are you in need of disinhibiting. To know that, to feel that, to say that and to hear that…it can change a life from one voided or avoided to one useful or sadly used.
I hope I will be remembered for a more ethical outcome if not way I had to proceed. You can learn all you need to know about NLP in that it affects your inhibitions or disinhibitions just like Monarch programming want to do all the better to make nursery rhymes come true…again. So the slip of information I had, to help me on my way, was did I know that some 50 such room maintenance minor works were achieved.
My report was not a secret and I expected no favours save for thereby getting snippets that might be deliberate PR or might betray a fault line now, soon, or long ago. With 23 male and female patients I guess bed loosening and mirror tightening might have been all of that combined in 50 tasks completed. Numbers mean little, a workman cursing and chiding and cajoling a (should be sealed) security door opener tells me far more. And that he would kill anyone who cut the wires where some trim was a bit loose from a visual safety check.
I do remember when in an acute ward long ago.scaring myself in a mirror and being all red in the face with wild eyes. BTW I had already removed the failing replacement mirror whilst the complaint worked back to a “Mother of Darkness” and had managed to rearrange the adhesive logically but the “Mother of Darkness” supervising to my amusement did not listen. We all can have agendas. This is mine. One haunting import to my tired mind to urge me thither was a woman saying to a man (husband?) …”because you did not listen” . I forget the what, but I remember the lesson. I also remember Melbury for having patient chest of drawers that have little plastic MDF joining plugs angled on a single screw in a swathe of a wooden channel to stop the drawers pulling all the way out. I have seen patients use frustration and violence to bypass a door lock or bolt system, to kick in a door to the outside and make it. To kick in an important door with just three blows to get past that (*unnecessarily locked) barrier to the free flow of thoughts, ideas and people needing an outlet for their minds. The “Secure Transport Service” came for him the next shift.
But those plastic plugs? I remember them at a psychiatric hospital billet years ago. They were then responsible with a tiny adjustment that changed their role from safeguard to obdurate catch all to most efforts to open a drawer. They then were a con to frustrate the patient, except my condition of perpetual DIY and troubleshooting thanks to the FIIK “Extreme Process” that is trying to develop this in its shadow saints and or sinners, made it a problem to solve.
And I remember I left that ward better than I discovered it. They will know the truth. I might have trouble proving it. So often I escaped the clarity of blame and the machine that is a psychiatric ward just paused, reverse engineered any change to its role without really thinking about it …like the way the Doctor’s, even a consultant, lent their shoulder to the doors metaphorically that would open when they should be able to be locked remotely..it was to their corridor, Capiche, and moved swiftly on having had the trick explained to them for that moment anyway.
To be fair as I got better I learned from whiteboards pressed into this important service that a” Community meeting” of patients was tried in the “activity room” oft used by a few old hands for…inactivity successfully began some (additional) 20 changes in shall we call them “minor works” and the next meeting another 20. I hope they will eclipse the memory I here offer with “job done” exhalations. That was in early June. Today it is the 24th.
Whiteboards I found a great outlet for the complexities I needed to get across. I doodled with a few ideas just when one patient expressed her concerns as she crossed the stage of life I had just left a trace of a solution upon. Stuck for a strategy and not trained in any real therapy of any sort, save for using ideas wherever they can be stolen fro, I looked at the list of four or five conditions or qualifiers for intervention and applied them to what she told me of her sometimes out of the box and sometimes right there at every corner problems that got her here. It worked. Someone who might motor later around the ward because the idea had work to do and it needed a circulatory amplification….then met up with the stupid design of the ward….she could only circumnavigate her solved riddle by accidentally when so distracted by important work walk through a ward corridor to which she but not Mothers of Darkness without any previous or ID badges, (Capiche?) It is a real role but I doubt we need this many.
Good racing car drivers drive faster than anyone else on the day, but the best never run out of road. It is called a circuit not a straight road and one dramatic patient who was a PS (potential or actual suicide attempt) said as he made accommodations with his freedom in a hostile suspicious building, he knew if he went [somewhere] it was a merry go round…or it might have been a (magic not to him) roundabout… but it was better than not being trusted.
I trust everyone because they are probably not responsible…and anyway when things go wrong off duty policemen are never far away or phones ring and people seem obliging as they perhaps should be. But I hate gangs and obligations. The promise to write this report. though, is less onerous than sitting in a ward feeling betrayed, Some things have to be done, it is just unethical to not gimme whatever I want, heh heh. And there has been a price others have paid. They will know..now..who they are and why they were and had to be ignored.
The punk uniformed miscreants never trusted by the ambulance men did trust me and passed it on to new patients before the night swallowed their flight path giving me an easy last week or so. One senior Nurse concluded that was when I should have gone home…10 days earlier..in his view. His view was that I became mellow not actually needing to argue, now a loss to the program that would measure success by trauma. And still staff stay at a humanitarian level of confused apparent helpfuness which in a way is a sweet response to the role they have to play. Join them? The building would have to go.
But I was busy exchanging enough confidences between human apparent flotsam and jetsam. This was in a world where disclosure is unthinkable. But a world where nobody was listening. All because noone would listen to the stories they knew were true but none would believe it. To know each of us was or had both introspection and integrity and that we pulling at the same stroke without pulling strokes was a revelation not in many ward guides
or staff truing. If you count heads to demean the stories that are like mine. Ward polices seem unable to deal with altruistics since they are not yet under an obligation or sanctions. Staff, handmaidens bound to an abortive movement to suppress those tested to destruction ..and other more usual patients of course…know it when they see it and instinctively knew not to interfere..unless boundaries stretched to accommodate what I asked them to see for the time being as a therapeutic medical experimental theatre. And remember. I had no script, someone else was pulling the strings, Capiche?
I also love people who argue, and for one or two stories here I tell, some chance has bought independent corroboration that people on their way to some fatal concluding final scene , looking at a a crash and burn philosophy actually are real and like the idea of a happy outcome from understanding not fighting or trying to escape. And this in a ward that can take away the will to be live if not free. One story I remember has real substance…this is an age where the NSA mismanaged and out of control Psyops “Extreme Purpose” actually might surround everyone. (Dr Strangelove’s “surround everyone” military tendency) until evidence based science is no longer capable of distinguishing between what is real and what is not.
And I am a veteran of a 45 minute straight talk to camera a BBC/Littlefox camera that tested this confidence in what is real for the commissioner of the piece. You should not believe it either. This is information warfare. Weltanschauungskrieg and the leaks therefrom is just the beginning as advocates run away from the monster they were employed to add certainty to a world any petty criminal would tell you would just get more complicated.
Most patient rooms have a (black) bucket for waste. Mine had cascaded itself to me in a condition of having a hole ….in my bucket. A patient can never determine the sudden or gentle circumstances in which an object may be called into play. I was not going to try to put out a fire with such a thing, call me hyper-vigilant if you like. The hole seemed to show burn melts or whatever. If I t’were a hospital manager I would decree better to have no bucket than a holy one thinking of those trying to put out a fire with water in such, and enshrine it as a policy, within my fiefdom anyway. Actually I remember on my arrival at Antelope House I got the common idea it need to rain and I did what I could for an imaginary friend as it were and the response was a gallon of water in my intact bin, left outside for a grateful ward authority. It actually came from trying to tame the shower first flow which was quite scary, but a chap can cheat a little. Those mirrors do anyway. I was never that pregnant.That makes you fond of fit for purpose bins at least in your life.
My holed and therefore best dismissed Melbury bin turned up again in the Laundry Room…Like the litter around the smoking shelter few policies caught up with rogue events that might confuse or alarm patients when a good Matron my mother might remember, would have none of it.
The Laundry room…. that as far as I could countenance…(and who am I anyway)…due to one sluice handle providing a possible ligature, or other reasons,… was perpetually locked.
I suggest an ergonomic push button there, to not overstate the ligature argument. Those guys the maintenance me are heroes to me for sweating until they had defeated sealed security units. In this panic with a three day locks failure and three visits with no room for error they were circumspect with their task.They had superb tools. When one was handed to me with its security keyways it offered a tantalus. An opportunity that created via the unlocked staff meeting room to open wide a window between captivity and an “incident” similar to the “Great Escape” had to passed up. Workmen with a chit to make a security link work were masters of understatement, bearing no bridge I could see, enjoying I suppose the Lord of Misrule day or three that taught lessons they knew. In a world where security doors can be defeated by a penny coin, they have and bear no responsibility. One sign of a top down system of control and possibly worse, monarch wise, much worse to sort out to be fair in a world of employees without mens rea. Best to give a free pardon to everybody and remove the fetters in the real world and by sublimation. The CEO…just a sap, forget the money..Monarch makes everybody innocent and forgives no one by a perverse entrapment. Most of the Noddy Books are all about Noddy being blamed for something when all along it was someone else. That is what drives me. And they know it.
I know to mention my Extreme Process left ankle stop it message fetter is a risky disclosure..it means I am a slave…it is if I were not guarded in other ways a sort of a red rag to anyone who wants to try me out, or take me on. Those nice NSA people who put it there…will know advantage of gang membership true of the Security and Intelligence Services, who should watch my back. In fact a reverse Panopticon means everyone might be able to become aware and bail me out as Citizens….stuff the NHS confidentiality thing we live in a Panopticon for heaven’s sake? If you say things these string pullers like, or which could be useful one day that is a gang that will hopefully model that success and leave you alone to guess and wonder at what has passed. Anyone will find as I did on the other see of the world, that.as I was told, “phew, you certainly have people who love you”.
Just one thing, never mess with a librarian. They know stuff. And it can serve any purpose, if you cast around for reasons why things happen. Remember this conjunction of awarenesses is duplicable and will go on happening because there IS a link between the real world and the words and images I have here decoded standing on the shoulders of so many victims, patients, children (did I mention my markings) and media junkies.
Most of that stuff is on my websites. A lot starts at the end of this. But get some sleep.
Except the boring old laundry room was not locked at all times like the stupid signs. One test just using memory and seeking understanding threw up a few hours as this room being open to any sort of use. This laundric largesse was repeated as often as not perhaps as the rule was hard to justify outside the strict observance of a salaried post.…and some staff were assiduous in wasting their time and the patients if you consider the room was effectively porous to any intent therein. Oh, and in a second a patient would feel stupid and belittled, frustrated by a washing machine door [a Miele Professional WRAS approved productPW 6065 Vario supplied by http://www.allsopandfrancis.co.uk but some WAG fixed the door to open on the left side. I swear, if I had the tools and had thought about it, that would not be alive today.
Never mind, a locked room was a first of many hurdles. It was a baffling restraint or inhibition throwing the patient onto their own friable resources or the maverick chances of approaching “the office” the room with no number. …enough to argue the room..with a lock hard to beat, should be open ALL the time. And that office was streamlined into the should of the building such that a lesson learnt from bluff old cove Dr Bailey ex- principal of my college, that there should be sight lines down the two most important corridors, just as in a library where according to You Tube sexual teasing and better or do I mean worse goes on between the shelves. Patients would be grace and favour tipped the wink about such minor foibles and wrinkles, instead of ripping out the heart of a machine age lost to any human access or interface. Look that up in Google. By the way, wrinkles in the cheeks , deep ones with a little neuritis show a life of pain, according to the web, Who shows these most exactly? Rupert Murdoch, Richard Branson and my very own Doctor Mengele. It seems the most control from trauma based conditioning has been applied to the greatest prizes of the movement. Just saying. Someone else is feeding me this chaff.
Of which more later. Just remember Antelope House ward..the one with terror in the duplicitous slam shut doors for patients worst fears and precipitous Moses , or they will say, laundry baskets..It is hard to tell when I was out of my mind. The ward, anyway, according to an official source “carefully designed and tested to the very last detail”.
Yes, occupancy is close to 100% but Antelope ward failed on four out of five criteria in an inspection last year. I was there in April 2014 and had had enough after 5 days. The staff , most often in their guarded enclave the ward office was in one person but a generic claim probably were accused by me, a stranger to anger, as “ a disgrace to their profession”.
Abbey ward was the Southampton Antelope House female ward. I am pretty sure I gained access and played with stuff left to no obvious purpose. It had bright orange “Moses” baskets , or why have large orange “laundry” baskets as above with hearts cut outs..Cruel? Please get used to the world of symbolism now and consider the very real cruel inversions placed for the ill because they can cut twice as deep to precipate whatever is wrong or desired which trauma achieves usually many times faster and more controllably than ecstasy. I had lots of that with a gf with TB and then Leprosy. Science sorted out the falsity then, but you are one or two against the needs of many.
The Abbey ward was actually shut down completely just days after my dancing down the aisles wondering if I might be pregnant. I am never sure.. some days someone at Fort Meade distends my circumference a bit for a laugh I like to think…hoping some of that time will come back to memory’s door and nudge my memory to dissect the dissectors.
It might make one happy to know that was a scene envisioned by just a conjuring trick.
It might amuse a reader to think that I did not know the difference between a simulation and real life staring me in the face. But that was not the trick, the trick was the simulated world of the father and the wife and what might occur when the dancing stopped to face a problem. That was the lesson I saw unfold in my own field of view that must have been sown by a mother. Women or females I should add get at least 70% of whatever is going..at least as Monarch has gained ground. And it has used unbelievable tricks from hell.
Psychiatric symptoms like hypomania involve “euphoric sociability”. As the proxy for a birth I was pushed a little with a clever little scripted video that previous night to a freeform dance that was proof of the testing done before..in colour if anyone was wondering about that I was in the night projection superimposed on an likely Asian groom’s cartwheeling down an aisle…, a popular You Tube viral clip a girlfriend said I should see. in the original.
This is not an actual ambition you understand my girlfriend said a simple affair would do and she would just wear a “tube”. Er, OK dear. She didn’t actually name the children, but for God’s purpose there would be two, apparently. This after TB. leprosy. Hurricane Yolanda and unknown obstacles to her looking after me now I am pregnant. (Humour).
…Thanks to unknown NSA fiends on the whiff of not a story but a supposed grafted biblical story with a happy ending resolving all problems all through history. This was based on a woman’s question and if listened to that could be the tag that makes this War and Peace peace not war. I leave that one for the grandchildren. But the elements are all in this document.
And this, rare enough in my lifetime, was my lifetime, and lessons must be learnt. I told them in Antelope House I hope they were modelling what I did there because I did not want to go through it all again. And this, Monarch now eclipsed, the NHS, holds no sway anymore. Everyone is looking for a way out…my story is a possible vehicle?
So no blame gets everyone off with the clever assumption no mens rea means no need for guilt, fear or secrecy which has driven this monster until it has become a conglomerate of brands, This ward or the courts has been competing and falsely imprisoning its own and other children, such that history is now unearthing pre-Industrial Revolution victims who hid away treasured memories of lost freedoms under the motifs of owls and could only use tainted “uniformed thoughts” from the brands and occluded thinking of the pre rationalist times.
To see this in history and repeated ad nauseam in real life means the mental health wards are probably doubly insulated and this work and my other works driven probably by the hijacking of this coming to the fore, is blind evolution of the darwinian kind. A statistical prayer for the living. http://www.monarchprogramming.com is I hope the only time I have to keep this tirade up, but just before I was ill http://www.panopticonsecurity.wordpress.com was an April 1st 2014 explosion of energy which is what the military and intel types national or global… if any still exist with honour wish to emulate. Remember there may be nobody there. Rationalism allows for the system to only have slaves in place now and my solution.a reverse panopticon needs careful thought even if just an exercise?
Yes it is all in what I have written to date. Except for for the sleeping bit which must have been a precursor to the inevitable use of a pregnancy bit. Someone taking notes wrote down wisely my claim ,” er it had its own internal logic”. They all say that and will. Or did I ever emulate Kipling’s questions and qualify for the sympathetic magic of the poem “if”. Kipling’s best contribution probably a world where he had a daughter, to a widow or a son or …you get the idea.
It, the idea of challenging and struggling to perpetuate the chance of joy once it is realised it can be snatched away…is all in the film I use as a vade mecum, Park Row. This great film, which is not there, in the 200 videos in the Games Room that few use. and has no player or lead anyway. The staff I mentioned it to did not know.
And a I call the floating hovering staff from hidden parts of the ward, “Mothers of Darkness One responded really positively to the 10p video film in my home: “Face Of”f..not one I would watch as it was used if I am right about this to cruelly remind me my girlfriend with TB up to her waist in a Pacific Rim country waiting for the word to come but in a TB isolation colony. It flooded waist high around her and my fiancee now was diagnosed (for a short time till I could challenge it )with the often concomitant Leprosy. I had been wound up about Leprosy about then (the video a part of the chance observations) and the system..the process…has so many motifs in play something relevant will tickle or bite.
WE all have a duty to reduce the damage where we can, not project some misfit into a role for which they only become suited and booted for it if they can be programmed past the destroy command because that once met offers new choices in a dark dark world. That should end here and now.
As Will Filer writes it is out of control and mismanaged by the highest security system known to man…the NSA…who by the way lost all their data to some clever devils who knew which buttons to press.
Today, and I have seen this, the questions of Kipling of the questions I should have asked: the “What and Why and When And How and Where and Who”. I should be ashamed to have travelled so far on borrowed wings without at least seeking corroboration. After all wards are run by teams and handover meetings and it is a joy to watch nurses raise the dead from a floor such that the player..the patient playing dead..knows and knew his strategy is no longer worth the candle. That is a positive. But here the absence of evidence confirms the practice none is left to be found. And I can argue this like a cemetery full of Jewish lawyers with their blessing.
Slave staff return a blank stare and mimic their training “I don’t care” . This is what let the NSA down, an instruction fitting the codes steals all somebody else’s secrets anyway because that was the reason that person was in front of a screen…to slavishly follow orders unknown to freedom and with no vigilance they could muster for themselves. Evidence and testimony and record and information are now unreliable so we all scrabble to get the highest score we can..
Or something. help me out here Derren? I remember you were there at the end of the world scenario ready for any challenge and I, a mere foot soldier with no more food in my ammunition packs preferred corpus mortals, so settled for thanking the NHS with this little playlet thing. “We cross the stage of life and demonstrate the terrible preoccupation of our times”. In that sense Mengele never had a chance either. And I met the man.
Forensically or journalistically this is a new sort of science of reconstruction.
The Doctor Greenbaum Speech should be a parents next port of call. If I can get this far the system must be desperate and forgiving is the only was to reconstruct what has been borrowedfor so long for so few to prevail. Governemts know they have lost the hegemonythey could command because they were not watching and did not listen when broken shards started to tell the lie. You can mess with a mirror or turn a valediction into a theme park only once.
Yes, my summary is the system has now got no-one worth a candle in charge and unable to decide what to do. If Derren Brown is pressed into service in suggested presence alone you understand ..a man who likes the finer things in life between occasional engagements,,,they are setting themselves up with a poor alibi. He is not capable of everything attributed to him . He is not a World Frisbee Champion, he has no wish to make me feel guilty for forgetting I had a baby when I was supposed to have one. Who said so ? Er, he did..no..er…ah I remember, it was really all along Paul Goldin , only pretend dead (like Mengele and that is gospel) and Derren was a diversion and I remember now, I told everybody I was just the diversion and yesterday was not the rehearsal, that was when we did it..or the day before I get a bit hazy without a satellite directly overhead..they wobble you know. Paul Goldin…yup…what consummate skill for that delightful trickster to pull off one more stunt from his present location.: In fact it was all to bring him to my table..from wherever he was…a table by the way in a secure mental ward suffering four strikes out out of a possible 5 in a recent inspection,,,the one the senior nurse insisted was her household table in principle and I was now the head of it until she was ushered away and I was told later promoted. It is a square world. I left soon after. I was the only one left anyway. I think everyone else suddenly got well but you should have heard the doors banging for a while. I need a holiday and a year ago won a £4,00 Virgin in Cancun 5 star fortnight. I declined in a grumpy mood and it makes this story look tawdry to say Derren Brown was a guest of Branson he with the cheeks like Mengele. Follow that script kiddies.
That should reduce the number of those coming to fill my shoes, for there will be many…remember the stystem just puts out stuff and is toxic in the sense my sheer weight of exposure more kiddies come forward trying to join up the dots that “got” them. Childhood sacrifice symbolised by the owl (Moloch) is the only clue for many and counter productive. In a ward real or imaginary I have argued for hours with an owl to test it as a guardian for the young.
Of course the lie is as Derren Brown will explain one day, it is an image placed there by Monarch…it could be anything of personal significance. You argue with the owl….probably one of the three lights in the interrogation room…to realise it is a sham. Nobody is listening. The future holds the grim parody of what many have argued for aeons…there is no one there to pick up the pieces you would want to know, so conform. At least the NSA have the video they doctored of my nightly arguing..it prepped me for the real world. Few would have been that much ahead surely…only the good argue for too long.
But never forget the refuseniks, the skeptics, the cunning folk outside the cults of the dead and dying. The actual deads, the people who play dead and the people who never know until some comedian gets to rehabilitate an old idea (Paul Goldin , or any trickster of the Shamanic ecstatic beats trauma tradition)) create a script…try it out as a self congratulatory experiment with of course a happy ending. The performing arts need all the camouflage they can borrow, to hide the trauma asif life didn’t have enough without manufacturing it, crime, deviance, and every ill that is there by blind design. Speaking of blind design, home for me is where
I have put up a quote if I sit long enough I get to see the bodies of my enemies float past. Sorry to say this but so far all my potential enemies have died laughing.
I do remember my motivating idea of resolving everything just at the moment of learning the lines to an end of the world show and then having to run for it unsure of any of it, But it got me going. A ward like Melbury had that function. ..of cooling off the mark with a promise there would be a beneficial outcome.
is central to this trick, and you by the way, are the mark.
A suggestion came that a black waste bin had an average time between dispersal and replacement of two months. This led to some comedian suggesting it might be better to allow the patients and not the staff governance over items in what could become the patients “commonwealth”. Yo. The principle of not letting the European Union decide snooker rules.
It is called “subsidiarity” I had a word with the old funny man on top of the mountain about that. I asked his people to talk to my people
Apparently my stalwart sentinel patient friend who watched my back, when he realised by mime what I have explained above, he went into a reversal and began as I mediated to the nurses, praying fervently to his god..probably the same one or his brother..Oh that was supposed to be a secret. He was greatly amused when I said money had never changed hands. A ward rule perhaps. But not when I said there were no plans for such an innovation. In fact this is copyright free (text only) because thus it stands a better chance of lasting or circulating as a meme for frustrated should who never had the breaks I have had to get to here. Er except an old missing friend called Dave was promised 90% of any profiteering and Derek will probably claim it was his idea (or the NSA stole it from him, to the improbable letter). I might need Paul’s agent. He can get blood out of a stone. And wherever he is or is it a she, can not matter much anymore.
Oh and then there is John (Mad Jack) Klawitter, of Disney Vice President and then Warner Brothers fame. Nobody has asked me about him and now its the credits he pos up. What I know I have published. But his jerky limited edition cartoons everyone has forgotten about? I do know because he wrote this he was shot at three times or something at point blank range and the window behind him proved the lie of the shots. It was a long time ago and I wasn’t there.
Back in the world of staff and patients and whatever is going on now eh?
Oft times items of doubtful sanctity or danger were denied patients without permission. Ping Pong (Whiff Whaff=Chinese water torture) balls were a “win” but football table balls need to be 32 to 34 cm in diameter, perfectly round and hopefully solid polyethylene. Try ebay. I have I will be dropping 50 Chinese 32 mm balls upon which I have extended a risky punt to Melbury Lodge as a gesture of convivial connivance so as to appear a caring sort of patient…ex patient. They came today and I am going to have to measure them. They feel a little light.
I should add that doors and door locks obviously have a role to play and a little role reversal was used as a test in the sense of participant observation or turning the tables. Staff had the disadvantage of relying on the security arrangements so much when they ceased to function their role for dispensing grace and favour in a timely manner for what has become and always was intended to be a dependency culture vanished as swiftly as their computer screens went from blank to . , er, blank. For in a specialised role-best equipment available-authority of law we look after our own- and case histories born of sometimes bitter experience-reliance on externalities means breaches are not even noticed. I hope you found the business cards I left in the safe in my room…the one on You Tube which says it can be opened with a potato. I offered you some advice…well, this is it, and no one is to blame.
But the two Stronghold Security padlocks that separate the garden from freedom you will be pleased to hear could not be defeated as many cheap ones can be with a can of Coca-Cola and a pair of scissors. (I do take the point about sharps…but have you heard the term “moral panic” it is a sociological cry for calm where those about you might lose theirs.
The Staff not engaged with their screens were down for head counts or what was called one to ones. I asked who reads the one to one reports. If the doors do not lock any more they patients can make their own arrangements as to laundry, lunch or recreational activities in a corridor pledged to stay open till after dark. For few staff enjoy patient contact in this climate…an overlay of fear and consequences against the clock or the shift or the intimidation expected to maintain order.
For staff are expected against their better natures to enforce confusion, prevarication, frustration over nothings, and offer not yes, not no, but maybe…a tribute to an exotic language that offers these combined as riches in its grammar yet to be deployed in a computer language as far as I know. My best friend David Stanton has gone missing since I learned he was a sort of agent in this country for that language hoping for freebies. The so called specialisation in ward and other roles and responsibilities masks and entails a dereliction of engagement that I saw in the company of talking mouths who were not and did not have to be in denial.
Oh, and why a black waste bin? 18 months ago I witnessed what I assumed to be a “monarch programming” Eugenic proof of concept hastening to Heaven old people with Alzheimers. Eugenics was the aim in the 40’s with American and German players and we will be no better. I hate waste. So does the DWP and the NHS (apparently). Mengele referred to people unable to contribute to the commonwealth shall we say as “useless mouths”. Few wish the NHS any ill. But what I am picking up on without reference to others…is notwithstanding CommonPurpose our commonwealth has not the trust it once claimed of our pockets.
My father hated waste. Consultant to the area Guy Powell was famed for using a biro as a substitute until he could rescue some food or treat that might otherwise suffer being wasted.
Speaking of waste…
Patients in Southampton with dementia were given BLACK straws (official NHS issue I checked ) and later after the complaint had gone in, as I understand the language of black water supplies and straws, my father said “he was looking into a black hole”. [Unexpected drol lhumour or real live personal testimony either way to the NHS under a “suggestion” scheme] And they would have unauthorised visitors wearing black (and white) hooped dresses. Google black white duality and monarch programming. I am not using humour, You will find example pictures as I have no trouble.
Eugenics is still alive. And unknown agents at no shift end or margin of explanation would shout out of turn to the patient (who was unable to say the who or the why) Goodbye, [name], Goodbye…[name]…going now. Pay attention please.
No-one was challenged and young employees overtaken would say to each other after some at the time notice being drawn in a safeguarding way…hue and cry, they were “not trained to deal with hunters”. (PUME2) Few realise the reach of Monarch programming is changing the role of the NHS into a bucket-list of a slave-nation….but I would say that, I am Tim Baber and I have met Mengele when on “duty” all those tears ago. Hunters probably do not exist, but Monarch has so many refuseniks and whistleblowers I suppose it is part of the survival of the fittest.
Cleaning staff, of whatever nationality, in whatever ward, are not happy. They are treated with no common humanity that I could see, and this business of uniforms is at play in Psychiatric wards the world over now, though it has nothing to do with officialese status clawing postures or the stigma of NHS outfitting or not telling anyone who your tailor is. You have, in a microcosm, evidence of out-fitting a la monarch programming. Cleaners wear black, and know to stay silent. Facilities or maintenance workers are careful with their words, tools and liberty. Strange troglodytes from other floors or departments wear red Oz shoes and black dresses and are to be seen in corporate PR photos with white alternate banding or squarely whirly decorative motifs I can trace back to Greek pottery. And yet someone with my condition just gets people to open up a little. The people are human, the tasks are dehumanising. And for dehumanising you need power play. If a logo, a design. a claim, a clash of design or colour is noticed, it is probably someone making a point. Monarch says it is the point to follow, IT IS MONARCH ’S POINT NOT YOURS.
A senior nurse might wear a pointy in your face garment and make a uniform out of the practice or vice versa to her or his colleagues, Combine that with some NLP or esoteric hand signals…yes check it out…spot a suicide instruction (even if only used to force the pace in subtle best not encourage mimicry behavioural disclosures) and you have a mix where the human is now subservient to mechanical stirring not of the mind, but emotions now ripped from their roots and in a maelstrom of influencing in hands that should know better.
I do know from experience a combination of motifs is favoured to avoid false alarms and some precipitate illnesses in mental health must be the statistical outcome of so manf free floating motifs…sort of the ambient background nuclear radiation count. Maybe.
These people are not as soft as your face. They want to rip your face off to get to the switch and extend the reach of Monarch…life or death is not the prize…it is the information.
You have staff who are in their respective rational roles sliced and diced with income, power, status, symbolism, policy, with tipping of observances or just trying to get through the shift. People who should know ( and I do not mean better) have said such as “I will resign tomorrow”, or “the only place to sort this place out is from levelling it to the ground”…or ”Ask them on the next shift”… or “Ask at the office” or “Yes I know it is the 4th day wearing pajama bottoms and the patient’s waist is 46 to 52 inches and you gave us some braces and their own belt fits their own clothes but do not try to tell us our job…we have been doing this for years”..(This was not to me but it could have been).
A revered patient I suggested “was simply trying to make a point” in finding the floor a good place to lie for hours on end was managed back into their room, which seemed safer. This patient aware of a vague goings on was I guessed in context acting as a sentinel for other patients needed watching.
One in particular rode their CD player to hell playing unpleasant loud aggressive music and later the voice, the menacing, hypno-danger voice…of their supposed reference hero, Aleister Crowley, something my sentinel by instinct was wrong and yet remained within earshot of it, and no one else saw the danger, though half a ward complained…and all from a long time revolving door returning patient who made breakthroughs with me before and after and told me so. Of course the meds kicked in and wiped out 48 hours, but there was intelligence there destroyed by something. The CD will be well known amongst wannabe Satanists. I knew it by association with a Kenneth Anger film I saw at the British Film Theatre decades ago. It helps to have some library skimming skills with dodgy stuff amongst the vulnerable. It was probably an intel op then! I leek to overlap stories as this is a self validating or falsifying check for the skeptical. I have mis-crafted 4,000 emails on this subbleject to the powers that be and this too is handcrafted without cut or paste. E&O excepted.
Later I guessed my sentinel patient’s hand wringing and so on may have had more to do with home earnest praying to some personal or generic God. I may be wrong but I do know water was forgotten deliberately to encourage movement when it came to it and it did not come very often. It seemed to me a little water rewarded (a) lying on the floor) or (b) lying poorly on a bed” but in this policy the inevitable slip ups increased the need to deny that reward. All at over £200 a day. You can see the need to go for the throat as Mengele demonstrated. I gave that patient water to a parched white lip irrespective of the only to be expected warnings of “choking” a patient who was vulnerable, whilst prone.
On lithium myself I know how a shortage of water is a form of torture. And a patient in th tanking around or digging in mode will keep thinking of the problem and never the solution a rational ward nurse can see. That is why I take so long to get out of bed anyways,
I hope I checked for thirst not being met at twice the usual rate, but what if this patient was on lithium? The white lip deposits..my Dentist started to tell me what it told, but tailed off into professional discretion-land. How many litres for lithium patient in a day? I read somewhere 3 litres a day. BTW If you urinated 3 litres in a day you would suffer a condition needing other treatments before too long. Funny, my teen years had me looking at a urinal at the Saxon King at an equivalence to the so called beer that passed for meds then.
And Health and Safety tolerances essential to cover such an event also had me risk…er…what exactly? And yet when cooperation surfaced the man was raised with his co-operation though in two seconds by superb nursing or care. That was pretty to watch but the point was all made by then the game was up…the need for a sentinel was usurped by some judicious neutering of the real concern with the meds that did their job, sort of.
Early Warning of the bonkers bit:
Now, I only know what I know, and can only do best for what I see. And Melbury Lodge has a reputation few could take away without damaging the aims or the methods.Still I will argue Melbury Lodge is trying to aggravate/precipitate the illnesses presented all the better to deal with them. (For Melbury Lodge feel free to insert Antelope House, so bad one ward at least was officially closed after my visit) this report may reverse that, unfortunately, but were I related to you and you were in there, you would beg for an advocate to check this for you.
Maybe that Doctor who said he was not ready was a hero and saw me as a “closer” not an “opener” of doors. oooops. it was just the weather.
The point about patients and staff carrying a hidden uniform is based on this mysterious monarch programming. If you do not know what this is you are amongst millions however that are likely to have suffered or know others who have been disadvantaged by it.
Both wards will have had and will continue to have patients and staff who have been dehumanised by monarch programming because it is the dominant form of care imposed by stealth to achieve goals above its pay grade: …not those of the more familiar systems we employ to do a more expected job. At this point a visit to http://www.monarchprogramming.com or panopticonsecurity.wordpress.com will save us all a lot of time. You really really need to at least see what has filled a decade of my life and what changes everything.
The office ..the ward office…is a port of first call for patients looking for a solution to this or that need. There are needs that are unmet and there are needs that are unfelt. The office does not reach out too much, and can see nothing from its windows. It even has no number. And the tendency is a knock on their door will get attention within 5 seconds say 50% of the time, with I don’t know perhaps an average of 5 members of staff facing not outwards or each other, but computer screens that have a uniform brightness waiting for key activity or a meaningful word count. It does provide somewhere for a patient to approach using whatever social skills they are still nurturing but there was something of a mellowing in rage when disturbed patients approached such as you see in criminals calling policemen “Sir” revealing some recent time in a prison or Borstal.
There is a notice in the telephone area (now WITHOUT a door) …wonder why? Could be sound/noise/privacy/security/simplicity/damage/oversight..do you get where I am going?
Anyway, that notice says :
Kingsley Unit (Melbury Lodge)
2 March 2013 and everyday thereafter after 9.30 – 10.00
All patients are required to attend this meeting in the morning and every other morning to help staff plan for their needs. [C.A. Productive Facilitator)
To discuss activities for the day with patients.
For patients to decide on which activities they want to get involved with (sic)
And for staff to be able to plan for the shift
To plan for daily leaves(sic) and shop rounds
To keep patients informed of key and relevant issues on the ward
To reduce interruptions from patients.
A Grace and favour culture:
The above was part of an initiative, I have encountered many widows and orphans called “initiatives” from belonging to MIND and the NSF as an active-meeting-going-member in the 80’s, the trick being to go in two areas which reveals otherwise unseen fault lines a coming. Southampton and also Bournemouth had groups and you miss something if you only follow one team! I learned as a student with free time to listen to politicians in two places…as far apart as possible…in order to effectively discount their offer.
Sir Keith Joseph was an Education Minister and was severely heckled at the University up the hill, and could not answer a simple question about inheriting wealth as he had done. Down the road at the Polytechnic no-one could think of an equivalent question to this man advocating rewarding entrepreneurship which had been “what about inheritance of all that money?” . That 1978 or so event taught a lesson, Universities were maintaining the ability to argue. Poly’s on half the money per student year went for and attracted managers and staff with a more compliant option. It is easy on the inside. Best to conform.
It is tough on the outside a patient told me who is fined for having a second bedroom. So. to ensure times are east to if times are hard, patients must be managed, Doctors have other roles and anyway only work 9-5 as far as contracted hours compare to the shift ward staff.
In the stock market it is called “churning” to repeat a limited cycle of activity and pretend it is a desired outcome. People will realise they have been robbed of course, and they need managing.
in the world of the con-artist it is called “cooling out the mark” Healthcare is fair game for the savings of not arguing about everything. Healthcare will seek outcomes from inputs and throughputs. Complaints will need to be managed. Manage this.
This noticeboard initiative was called the “Productive Mental Health and Learning Disability Ward Initiative.” Usually they last for long enough to get noted in the literature, the press, a CV or two, perhaps even by the higher echelons or their resilient partners and overseers…but as for Monarch Programming…no. you only see them by their wake..even more slippery than the reputation one nurse claimed for me. I like to leave traces. and my history is the history of this report, for they are coterminous as I now am declared better in a world of monarch programming of old…and the “Extreme Process” as feared for by Will Filer…
It is important to understand of patients in any ward or elsewhere the Monarch Program could be stopped , abandoned or shut down but even if no one were steering this ship, the nuts and bolts are out there in the media and in the events and in the performing arts and in the literature and minds of the patients who find a clash somewhere that precipitates them into breakdown. It is easy to create a breakdown. Sir Keith Joseph had one just after he could not answer a heckler wanting a justification for “inheriting wealth”. He knew the question could not be answered within the “gang” he served.
From the breakdown point a ward needs one would think beforehand to manage the sense impressions of the patients and reduce the inputs, the though puts and the need for outcomes from them, tempting though it is that they perform tricks for a system looking for the unusual by default.
So…”to reduce interruptions from patients”…I think I made that point plain the existing regime loads futile observations and exchanges onto the staff already. The staff found then someone was making a point about locks being a reactive agency when the locks did not work, or would not open to their codes, or the patients could pretty much wonder where they liked, through doors wrongly or without good reason kept locked . Posters stated these locks were kept open until la late hour but were locked at pretences in order to manage human distress with physical frustration. Capiche?… All it took was one patient to”motor” around a circular ward unhelpfully designed into a male and female halving.
The locking then was an agency to make that condition worse. It is physical security mismanaged to make a mental condition frustrated and diverted to another level. An escalating trial..remember, I described that from the fresh experience it was for me in 1986.
A circuit was all that was needed. And circumlocutory trips “outside” within the perimeter of the grounds which was an advertised possibility, would, supervised, have been a more interesting also advertised one on one because trauma is the time..legitimate trauma..when as Monarch knows advances are made in the directions open to them. I found out three critical pieces of information engaging with an argumentative so and so because after three hours of throwing what we actually knew at each other a patient and I found his tabula rasa.
By the way call me a grumpy old now 58 year old but when staff were caught out away from their computers or the ritual folkloristic wogglestick of a headcount board, which the police told me makes an excellent shield or weapon if things do go wrong…they had little idea what pen and paper or a card to write upon could benefit them. If I can source pens and felt-tip markers and retain them for weeks and lend them to staff when they need them when I am so aware and get them back …why can’t they. By the way, biros are rubbish. Sort it out? I value pens upstairs and downstairs in my Derren Brown inspiring house they should not expect my hypomnic knee jerk of Gift Aid on this from the person who needs lovingly designed maintained maintained writing instruments the most. After 40 days away in high summer my fountain pens ink symbolically had dried in their pipes. That feeling of a pen that does not work (3 days of the Condor) is the frustration I have been describing.
20 years ago I heard a lecture from a Winchester IBM researcher demonstrating a little gadget that recognised who was in any room and if a meeting was sensible or sought it would engineer it with a little noise or tremor and a discreet text message. Some might be appalled.
After writing 12,000 words last night a strong tingling impossible to miss sensation encircled my otherwise free left ankle. what I teasingly called a cable tow actually this is the Good Old Boy’s from the USofA if I am right…so I felt a heavily tingling circuit around my left ankle.
This was a simulated but strident slave fetter impossible to notice and I was so tired I did not think the expected calculation I wondered about until later the next day when a gap appeared in my list of things to remember.…was that NSA Extreme Process tell tale ( if you doubt the authenticity of that claim well done..it is an opinion…but when your turn comes you would never have noticed it because awareness is not sought other than in an experiment …yes, well done, that is an opinion…but soon fact and opinion will be strangers to me if I do not get this right.
And the hospital staff? I think decision making has not cascaded to them, in all honesty…the decisions, levers and fulcra are already in play otherwise the patients so affected would not be in serried ranks on an imaginary horizon leaving behind their issues and forensic tracks as they see more over the horizons promised them on their release, perhaps? And noone will want to forensically trace their thoughts because,,,you guessed it, no one is listening.It is all about tomorrow.
So.. was my strong tingling fetter impression offering the slight “I was a slave” so as to stop writing…but they must love this stuff in a silent house with so little output in web words for 40 days! Here anyway visitors are getting a bit fewer each attack. so to not stop writing…but “write till you drop you self centred attention seeking Fur..Fur..Fur…fool or loose cannon” is more likely?
Or was my strong tingling fetter impression offering the slight “write on till you drop you slave you?” I guess I am not supposed to notice and had not noticed any background subliminal ones and real time interventions might if the territory is newish require what would be called thinking time in guardians of all of this and me. If your mind is flexible and leaps to presume too much that is going to entrap one, then having half a dozen interpretations to start with can be the “way to go”.
This is the Dr associated with military bases where soldiers have shot loads of innocent people in the last few years. “A handbag?” would descry Oscar Wilde.
Recently in a USA intelligence operation to catch some new simulated terrorist threat a room of 20 experienced staffers those who did the best were employed the least and the “googler”who nailed the sons of … was a recent Chinese immigrant and IT student hardly interested in current affairs or forensic issue tracing. The term fuzzy logic simplifies millions of pounds of research to algorithms the brain to overcome its evasions and slipperiness.
An overplayed hand is a hand of man and I had provoked..worthy of the American new information wars PPOG menu of provocations, an over instruction. Given that it was a secret most would never reveal…it opens me by saying I have this vulnerability to a new danger Imagine a field of dodgy chancers without a hippocratic oath or the more tolerable gentle experimental seeking a little breakthrough for their medical reports and careers. And yet I guessed I was in a safe place. A place of complexity and subtlety because so many were on different wavelengths of different amplitudes and different frequencies but all having some little “way to go”.
I reveal it because beautifully and such stimulation to an aware person can be ambiguous. Having a heart felt” in the lower slopes to this mad magic mountain or an attack of the senses simulating a heart attack without ALL the proper signs I am used to. Tragedies are real or imagined and hypnosis can effect one or the other or both or..you get the idea, someone will pay with their life here or there as life is cheap if they routinely resort to human way markers testing awareness and credibility and the level and extent of military or economic advantage.. J’accuse everyone , heal what you see or feel if it is not the right thing to see or feel. that is Panopticon Security..senseless is worse than restless and if I see another teen script kiddie heading for either ward they need to know relentless is so yesterday. The switch has been found, the arguing is over. The guardians have lost all the data and no-one knows what to do because secrecy guilt and fear leaves everyone to some auditing. Trust me the price when this happens is to have a free pardon for everyone. The realisation of the Extreme Process is a sword of Damocles will soon reboot the system as if a science fiction screenplay was well established preventing stupidity if legislating for it does not suffice.
No wonder the DWP and a long nose there rode into my computer via a sibling email and it was a name that meant nothing then. Now the link I spotted when aware has some sense…Useless mouths ..a reach into the community to achieve life or death decisions is already being simulated in this case, or this condition? A Doctor might know the difference between three similar words or aims.
But even here dissociated Doctors are just technically as vulnerable as a policeman or customs agent to having a blind spot. It is my suggestion Eva Moses Kor was one for him, thanks to the sparks he could fly amongst the 100 people who Posner thinks protected him. Either way…er..
….The ward having a dependence and seeming reliance for head counts is therefore I guess for the harassment it provides for patients and staff alike. I had to do them in the 80’s to the noughties and eventually we stopped them. When given a task…even a simple task..and I do know this to be so true, that task over-rides real observations or perceptions of what really is interesting or a threat. We make advances in most subjects from outside the discipline, not within it. Psychologists shudder, because what is true means they are adjuncts to power.
Many times staff were unable to care because they had a task to perform. Do you want the NHS to be remembered for task performance or outcomes. Free a man or woman from a task and they are better able to seek and find the problems. The real ones.
There is the patient harbouring a grudge, the patient who used a power gesture from hypnosis to a lifelong sidekick to get something simple..a cigarette say…and is spotted because the staff member happens to guess that was what it was used in anger..shall we say..or desperation…the price of gang culture. Or the pal who becomes aware because there are no rules for this…and the blast changes friendship, dependency, trust and creates new horizons. Yes, that tiny observation of a freedom lost, becomes a freedom found. It is almost a biblical parody of some other version or a proverbial tiny tiny move in a fast moving ward with little room for error.
Oh, and by the way, after 3 hours of high debate with a disruptive patient who had already made an enemy of his fellows, and continuing the next day I had to relent as a nurse thought it wise to soften a knee jerk pursuit of the truth. . I said I was getting somewhere.
He said he knew the patient over years and he knew what he was doing. I had fallen into the very trap of which I accuse so many. In the first three hours the posturing did break down and I did learn three facts from my man. His motivation, his son’s condition and his wife’s endurance of matters I had seen elsewhere at first hand ( as a visitor you understand for a friend now lost to me) I am now an honorary Jewish person in the unnamed regard for pushing back together a rift that fate took from people in terror and now I understand the moves I learned representing this which trust me thanks to a lazybones character and hypomanic inventiveness became dance moves. Finger dancing. It made a family friend laugh and we were sitting down at the time. I asked if the three conjunctions was known to the staff, including my wise nurse. I was told it would be on the computer. I regard computers as ahead of me but old stuff behind me.
Derren ~Brown taught me that. He and his (real) Hi Fi and saying it is all magic and cocking a snook at a mere foot soldier pretending to have a Field Marshall’s baton in his trousers and my car boot sale simulated Hi Fi quadrophonic algorithm amplifier that can never compete with new money. ….Tscchh.
I rest this case right there, The man told me the next day or two “he liked me because when I thought I had lost, I had actually already won.” I am not naturally combative, but a side goal of monarch programming when it can is to create Aunt Sally’s and see them destroyed, in a militarily modelling sort of way…by all and every means possible as the NSA still say.
One delightful member of the patient corpus kept finding things to poke me with..mentally you understand and as often as she challenged me by saying “you are not going to break me”…I said “you know I am not staff and all I am trying to do is tell ms story”. Perhaps amongst the warps and the wefts that make this shroud we call our world need a place like Melbury Lodge or Antelope House , and my pushing and pulling was not for everyone.
The Doctor who was a patient said “He was not ready yet”. Well, brilliant I am not going to argue with that, and anyway, antagonism happily has a half life.
As time goes by the more relentless and wideband of audio visual provision for more and more becomes more complex. The television room is mentioned but next door the men’s ward has a second TV. It has the top of the slim cabinet at about 5 foot 2 inches and the controls for channel and sound and so on are on the top. That means someone 5 foot 10 cannot see which buttons do what, you would need to be very tall.
The remote control of course is not a solution that would endure. This is unbelievably stupid, but the entire TV (and CD drive) can lift off the usual wall bracket. That wa s anise thing to discover, like hanging a moses masker on the wall hooks provided and admiring your child. We tend to look up when we are thinking of our dreams or ambitions or visions we hold in a nice way. Take Damsels in Distress. A woman we might symbolise as a fine wine…or in her maternal capacity a tube for the ink of generations past to writer furish or embellish anew life itself, their provenance and see look, wonder, love, lines, with family trees completed..up to that point. The last thing anyone wants is to twit the next generation with bad wine, poor mimicry of other’s best outcomes or dissolve the hard work and I suppose assets of generations .
Remember, in my claimed dodgy programming in Lordswood close to my parental home I was walking round and round with an imagined determined I should not miss this bit Rothschild, (Lymington is actually a lordly retreat known to have visiting Monarchs of the Regal kind and a little train too…but FIIK about such things, everybody lies you know. …The lesson learnt was this. We stopped , my imaginary companion and I, at a little bridge where the ivy ran up. or for all I know for effect. down the tree (Tricksters love to find fault with their worlds and then unite them to provide playful diversion from the struggle to the joy…) and when a break existed in th eline you felt the prayers for the dying or dead were it a parent and child co valent bond rent asunder.This was rich fare, and too rich for I, a batchelor, but a point was being made with the grim facts known really only to my interlocutor. I think we were alone, I with a stick, and luckily there were no witnesses, as embarrassment would ruin a story that should have a happy ending that the NHS in Hampshire has looked at itself in the mirror thanks to a returning patient desperate to repay the debt and the happy ending is the Chief Executive pictured here
can now grasp this nettle and reverse the human failings of millennia as I did in the little parable thing by really turning this moment into a change for openness transparency and debate, since no one could have been said to be guilty of any failure, This, a poison chalice to any CEO, is now a loving cup and science not superstition can now seek the outcomes methods and facts needed to make the difference Thank you . I knew there was a woman behind it.
Oh , and the sting in the tale:
Go onto You Tube and study the use of hypnosis with so called girl-friends. “Fascistic” males will seek submissive servicing with no great effort on their part other than the sinister if you know hypnosis “..look at me, look at me”, to check motivational meshing between the man’s will-power and the force majeure probably used off camera that had at some point the partner’s eyes flutter up into a place of passive denial to the supposed shared pleasures but above the female given gaze..lost in an hypnotic surrender.… I have expressed wine to vinegar I hope to two separate forever proud fathers and mothers, and it does not matter if I am wrong. I believe the danger is sufficient for word to percolate as far as here, just in the statistical take up of the clues others have left and which a librarian retired now can shine a light in to a place very very contested.
I am just a proxy for people who feel hear and see but cannot say what they know because that gift has been removed in some VAT fraud or other compromised agreement they never actually had a chance within.
One day I will find that poem about a broken bottle. It should be remembered here.
The secondary TV room contains a coffee facility which..well I do not drink coffee and I would suggest this stuff needs a CIS forensic audit as to the smell if not the drink.
I do not these days know or care what is real coffee..and it( like tea) is a Caffeine delivery system, Capiche? As neither barista or smoker I can only sympathise with those unable to break the mould big business has made for them and hope one day there will be a legal remedy based on scientific principles.
The ward in that room was blighted by this so called product and I suggest some mathematical certainty to seek a more natural harmony with what comes out of the ground. This was like a synthetic aversion test to an over alert would be proscriber . Not that I know anything. My weakness is scoffing chocolate and Melbury had me choco/sugar free for four weeks. I could read 200 pages in a day and wondered how come? But hot drinks? No!said in the manner of Eddie Izzard…an imaginary friend for me at times.
The new e-cigarettes are dividing scientific opinion, . Have you seen the film “Thank you for smoking” I think it might calm those on either side of this divide. And basic housekeeping of the shelter area just elevates us all, and stops a ghetto of smoker-centred we will punish you squalor. In two weeks I saw two hardened smokers separate by breaking a spotted master/slave hidden relationship . Following on from each’s resources improvements were seen within 48 hours. Smoking was still for all an irritant but one with one less obligation and the guilt or redress needed thereof became shared and who knows which if any kind word pushed together a new mutual rift . but a rift alowing now freedom from it.…which takes care of the rest were I there to see it the restorative power of just that freedom
In the mindfulness room, or the so called activity room if you are a bold adventurer, a small ergonomically rubbish Wharfedale CD cassette tuner cubic system provides for those radio/cassette and CD choices. This was up to a point that had been crossed and recrossed by many patient souls. One friendly open carefree and transparent self described “alien abductee” delighted her old left behind CD’s were still available. The volume control actually goes up when you wheel clockwise…. and goes up further when you reverse direction…an unbelievably stupid occurrence and this insult to the unwell next to staff otherwise snug offices for whatever the Occupational Therapy need to get through their day…nearby.
But then when I got home I passed some idle moments fitted up an old Aiwa system hoping to donate it to the unit and it did the same thing. Mine cost £2.00 at the car boot the NHS can buy with an eye to performance not cost.The Wharfedale had to be nursed to work and the second speaker for some reason is in the OT store. I offered to fix it but rules is rules.
Finding a system that a patient can operate easily takes some looking. Alzheimer’s? You are dealing with an absent friend. I have been an old fashioned analogue and please yes listen in the firelight on a dark winter afternoon radio enthusiast for decades and already have donated a few critical of what is available Radio (annual) reviews with some less well read design books that at least know the usual foibles in radio design. When it comes to it, I do not know what would be best in a hospital ward, the TV’s could be radios apparently, and some paradigms or some fairy tales are hard to escape from their history, development or inbred gravity. Thomas Mann …or should the emphasis be : “climb every mountain?” Or wave like the Queen or flail about criticising, with no point receiving the good news anymore it is faked…and no one listening should you wish to transmit… So we are in a system or a choice of wards where likely behind those three lights no one has any reason to listen anymore, It is a parody of being a ward patient. Society has chosen to look the other way .
No wait you can still read Thomas Mann, read Julienne Ford (Paradigms and fairy Tales) read Mary Douglas “Purity and Danger” one day like in “a Canticle for Leibowitz”, Panopticon Security or the very lesson of a reverse Panopticon might be banned or burned. You know it can and might happen, So this serious and relevant report on a patients thoughts in a month or so need some backing up.
I regard myself as a Houzz interior design consultant of sorts as Tim. Baber
That is another trace like a vine, like ivy, like a Rothschild worried for all that he has cultivated being debased by Monarch. It destroys everything that is beautiful because the freedom to perceive is the bone you have had removed from your spine. Your mind is now a bowling ball on a pogo stick and that fetter is holding you where the vines stop growing.
And yes I know there are presumably rational Design conferences and exhibitions for the Psychiatric specifier. If you have been paying attention and the problem is generic and endemic, they are the people you may wish to avoid if you suspect patient comforts feature rare designed out in a caring environment and it galls you. There IS an alien agenda. Few will ever realise it. I am a guest for the past 4 years at the Counter terror Expo in London each early summer. Just the place to gather together the worlds grapevines and regularise the products of our imaginations. And as for wine, grandad whole wide world travel enthusiast Brian Moynihan wrote “Fool’s Paradise” in 1983 and these commentators who see every kind of vine and every kind of con trick should be friends to your children.
Somewhere I read Melbury House was a “purpose built ward” The architect was a Mr Jolly who had it built before his eyes in 1996. Years later he got Alzheimers and ..yup. within its arms that bind one arm is a small unit for Dementia patients and I was told he became its patient.
One great concern to any architect is reducing the chance of ligatures by which a patient, mother or child could lose their life. He fell into ill health and did not escape the creation that had his hand on it. Mr Jolly would have been a slave to the brief and a role unaware probably of the rational world this madness encounters. Beyond that clue is a labyrinth …where real power, status and influence lies, which I do wonder about and maybe the number who are aware in a province like this NHS group are so few a ward could not contain them. And the NHS is being sliced and diced and grated until the staff respond only to their brief, and that within an umbrella grown large to protect the system that needs it so.
The human mind is inventive and the ligature argument a worry to all carers. When the sturdy workmen were instructed to make some changes (such as are still or were anticipated in this report) the Lyndhurst ward for Mothers and Babies..some I was told having post natal depression, they asked…”what? even in Room 254?” I do not know what is in room 254. I am journalistically curious but I do respect boundaries though Hollywood would stretch the permissiveness which we might seek for ourselves?
But even if all the patients were to be behind that door all looking out for a tragedy amongst them…it will be found to be …(a some might begin to think bizarre Panopticon Security point, this, ) …in another room. There can be no blame in such a world as this, for those who acted “in a bad way” cannot have had mens rea. I have assured everybody this is a no blame report, for even those enforcing some triviality to someone else’s disadvantage is following a brief.
A no blame report is based on the principle staff or patients lifted from the compulsions that Monarch Programming likes…anxiety over a job or freedom, guilt, doubt, maybe ignorance, fear, and secrecy for starters, will be free to make their thoughts known,,,all the better for being “bite sized”. With a sea change suddenly you will be to be listened to as a sort of treat or gem of an unbelievable process or consequence. A smoker prevented from forcing an unaware companion to share paraphernalia sets both free. And a cycle, a programmed event, is now unstable, not the other way around.. capiche?
Here is one example that got laughs and saw 40 ideas emerge from two patient meetings, all by now in the precess of achieving some improvement. It used to be said “if you want to improve the world, start by improving yourself”. Complete rubbish. Look for a story that tells another one and everyone will be delighted they had a hand in the eventual i improvement without needing to be identified. Works for me. I am Tom Barleycorn anyway, hard to pin down to any one sentence when it is all argument., and you are the needle, no need to look for one.
A little brevity:
After a week. still unstable enough not to watch TV for another few days, I met the unit’s multi-faith Chaplain. From that organiser of thoughts come nice posters, a ready smile, a woman, this, capable of mental flexibility for a multi faith or no faith patient. Now, I have done a bit of time in religious study..in the 80’s at the C of E’s Welsh Hawarden centre for Divine Learning. a place of former Prime Minister Gladstone’s retreat and personal library of his times… designed with a stone faced accommodation block with no locks on the doors…for Divinity students, Ordinands and even Bishop’s. All so motivated could trying out Gladstone’s stately pile left to the Nation’s still subsidised supernatural centred Church to safeguard Victorian morals as books of the time and since can tell enthusiastic researchers. It was a great place for arising late, having an English breakfast, reading the papers, a large lunch joking with some Bishop or student, and perhaps after a nap some croquet before working in the library into the night.
It is Europe’s most interesting residential library with a fair bit of old books shifting the dirt on Curate’s pleasures from those times to ours and even some BDSM for the Victorian times, I am trying to get Derren Brown interested as he claims he has discovered private libraries after a new found aesthete’s vinyl recordings and exotic pick up cartridges. That is good, I worried he was going to be so assertive for science and rationality he would not need to seek comfort in the safer pleasures of old. And he would look stern and disappointed that time, those times, I have refused the fences to la la land in the woeld of the dark web.
Mary Douglas wrote “Purity and Danger” , that is about all I can remember in trying to emulate the stars, for we all think in the paradigms of our perceptions.
We, the Chaplain and I, trying to be a rational sort, parted where we had began, and I did not expect another encounter until a neutral moment when I could see she was wearing a new pair of spectacles. Down each “side” was the… er… logo “ Better Red than Dead”. This , then, an expensive pair of spectacles with some cachet…makes a statement “tres amusant.” if you were not a BAOR Chaplain, for example, tending to men in numbers made less by death or injury even only if in peace time exercises or error, by a perceived Red Menace. That is an old wound for many because so many lives have been lost fighting that “brand name” the real red menace, and only a Spook touching the temple could tell you but he can’t. Many deaths and destitutions, enslavements and human waste will never be known and the record..where it exists, can be classified until long after we all are dead..if even naturally. because of sacrifices made to remove just that idea on that Chaplain’s temple. It is all out there. A spectacle sideswipe is going to hurt someone. One Chaplain’s views of the world are Supernatural…not at heart rational.
I suggested to our Chaplain half my age this might be in an acute ward better concealed than revealed. I offered her a whiteboard black pen sourced from some commonwealth of patient needed supplies in my efforts to share to at least thereby make a conciliatory gesture. To her credit she appeared unmoved in a world where we have a right to outrage or upset people, but I felt now like a manager…trying to avert unnecessary suffering or cruelty. So there you have it. All I need to do now is find a link between religion and Monarch programming. or just the agenda to make conditions precipitate…and I have done my job. Or have I? Nope. Melbury Lodge and Antelope House are in the midst of a battle of biblical proportions of which my take is perhaps the least well known for the many. And those aware will never have had the advantages propelling this report in this unique direction.
The answer is just google “Monarch Programming” this time with “religious group” or “cooling out” and envisage the mark…the patient…the person presenting and needing sorting…for Monarch Programming is always experimenting…Psyops is now officially (Will Filer) out of control…is found a home where they can do no harm to the program…and using religion…effectively the Supernatural…is a master stroke.
Did I say religion has no place in a psychiatric ward. Even one with a dozen symbols on a poster representing I think it was about 7 of the world’s supernatural offers. And what is a manager to think? Why, the decision has already been made. Monarch Programming has an even more close to spitting brother…which uses religious belief as its cover…the Extreme Process, and it has been through Melbury Ward and Antelope ward, many many times..I am guessing. Best to consider any distinction between them as an academic device.
When in Antelope House I encountered even old hands…patients of some domesticity…who could not find their rooms. I concluded that an aim of the treatment was to disarray, humble, make dependent and confound a new patient. And the ward was designed….to someone with an imported mental quality akin to autism or something…I am not a mind reader….humiliate the newbie as thoroughly as possible. It is called in my mind “contrived complexity” and the singular goal to precipitate the illness as quickly as Mengele going for the throat or Derren Brown putting a plastic bag over his head. (to slow the pulse to reduces air in the blood for a stunt). Whilst being shown the ward I was “ordered” to put on a pair of pajama bottoms…just the bottom half…they do not waste time these merchants….… .I refused as at that point true only possible reason would have been as above. So below.
Melbury ward is built into a hill in Winchester and it has two ground levels, it not being apparent which one could call home. For some it was better than outside. I have seen NHS “Mothers of Darkness” just a device for you to google it someday…show around other health professionals because Melbury is seen and feted as a singular place from which aspirations might be met. That gobbledegook is the sort of rubbish in the official Public relations brochures for the followers in life. It is more complicated. Something I said in my last meeting with my employer of 30 years ensuring a no questions asked pension, if the DWP are worried. But never mind the windows here everybody likes. Good design, see.
Better out than in. I proudly showed one aspiring professional being chaperoned around the poshest corridor with all the toys the probably best kept toilet room G65 or it might have been a luxury clone at G67. I could really have gone to town and taken her to see G89.
Try it now.
compare the two. make a list on a piece of card or paper using a pencil. So to win some approval I pointed out the plinth to the WC, especially svelte and functional. But when I pointed out the double barrelled toilet paper dispenser that arguably was a sublimation of breasts expressing white er expressed or tugged tissue paper, the sentinel for this out of area fact finder found her view into the room was blocked by that very minder. I am good at spotting minders. And this is why I said and thought what I did.And I asm not alone. Most of this stuff is “out there” and it is better out than in. Here is a good example from my last day or two. I was pleased to leave but can I have a job?
There was a miracle, though as rationalist I only sought a noticed improvement in outcomes over my stay. At the start the Antelope frothing stupid ergonomic taps water faucets looked like owls…Not good. And aerated water looked rubbish. (Tutton’s Well is my thing ) Filling up the two weeks or so as a hyper vigilant miracle worker ( the Chinese record is 9 days) the last day when I was thinking I need a sign the faucets turned into wide mouthed toads..far more innocent.
The owl looking ones are probably classified now…Richard Wioseman is probably scouring the internet when a trip to here an a request to accompany me into the female corridor and nasty sealable toilet areas might let him see them as I saw them too.
A cheery (ie hypomanic?) former Antelope patient reported being left in a room with only three lights. Somehow she was soon saying all she knew…a simple soul, but what poured forth was everything as if in a script about aliens and alien abduction. And by now you might guess like me that was “her” script…a computer somewhere…for no one wants to listen to that stuff…will match her utterances with “the monarch programming” script version it was her luck to inherit from…er…somewhere…somewhen…from …well…could be anywhere. But she agreed with my guess she talked for hours with three lights to divert her discourse within their embrace. I just hope it does not get competitive. (joke)
That starts to ring bells…how the NSA lost their data to someone who felt responsible because someone knew the data slaves had uniform slave combination trigger keys and no one important was actually watching or listening. The Office with no name had common lock combination keys pertinent to the department moving through the obstacles.
The wife of a president who might know stuff might say to her husband, in a weak moment confiding in her…”well it happened because nobody was listening” . Snowden is keeping back stuff for when the world is ready for it? Will Filer is my real whistleblower for having said the capability to do this is being mismanaged and is now out of control. Well, there are now millions of pages on the internet that has been saying this since it began.
A man talking to his wife in bed …nope, the CIA were using that trick decades ago but the man was in an interrogation room and hypno-trauma means he would think he was talking to his wife but that is at last non-violent. I still count what got me to here
But although that MAY have happened, this is obviously an amusant script carefully designed to retain attention for nation and complicity in believing the stuff is as fragile as shown. A huge joke that this had happened and someone just didn’t listen and left the details to others was the start of Snowden’s NSA adventure. It was the start of my coded adventure..of which how much do I know to tell? Hard to say. I will keep the best bit back to not queer the pitch for the next time it is used….having an unbelievable story to tell and seeing, how much was lived how much was believed and how much was retained. This IS 50 shades of grey, with a dream coat or two if you can pick a pocket here and there.
Or it might ring bells about how on an earlier visit in such a room …easily imagined if not an actual construction…Luckily as I am just a word person mainly tests and trials and probing mind stuff was easily measured for these more detailed psychometric tests. An experienced nurse can see things in a glance. Governments want to know stuff. So the Extreme Process has preferences and the need for a lot of feedback. I honour the NHS with all of this because if none else the most responsible person, the CEO, Katrina Percy needs to know it is not and never was, her bag. She should know her salary is nothing to me and that I do try to avoid unnecessary cruelty, and apart from the system none can dodge I describe behind all of this, I want her to sleep at night and face tomorrow at least aware so much of this is already out there.
I remember saying all I knew about stage hypnotist Paul Goldin, most was word for word from an Irish Independent Sunday newspaper and I know I remembered it all. But more…the Jewish jokes, his address next to Haughey and Ahern, his celebrity life, his manoeuvres to get a swopsy Hawaii home, listing all NLP practitioners (why?) and working for the USA on deprogramming FBI Waco and CIA Jones?town massacre survivors, with deprogramming cults and Scientologists a speciality. And his illegitimate son local man Steven Hamilton whom I knew for his role in a court case I was assisting in and multiple convictions for interfering with witnesses in a case I wrote up here:
My “client” Derek Stuart did get to hear his opponent left the country and move lock stock and Rolls Royce to Jersey ( too big a car, ergonomically for the roads there) whilst I saw Steven and his “client” both imprisoned for offending the court. I let his mother and he know when his father Paul Goldin died. I hate gangs because when you are inherited by a gang you inherit their enemies, and I am particular about not earning any enemies, at the point of a quill anyway.
Because I remembered that story and the bits a Chartered Librarian can find…exactly…even one fact I remembered I missed must have had a purpose…that I noticed I suppose, for people who through illness get to “switch” abilities for a while are of great interest in inhibiting or disinhibiting someone. If you have not got the message yet, I have been through the Extreme Process Will Filer describes thanks to this sort of skill set when unprovoked. And standard psychiatric operations are the setting where anyone may be provoked or cooled out as circumstances permit. You see it is not straightforward.
Time for a sit down
The garden is not allowed unfixed furniture. It has garden seats and tables bolted down but the lovely uPVC recliners kept out of sight where the staff might go for a cigarette could also be a ladder to the stars. The old varnish is very tired and I as a Houzz alleged interior design guru “beachhutman” (Yes, also see `twitter since you need to cover my bases at least…) suggest you try teak oil soaking into the wood. (Let it dry) Alan Simms a famed woodcarver told me if you soak wood long enough with the stuff it can be a deckchair on t. or more like from he Titanic and you wouldn’t need to touch it for decades.
The seat for smokers within the leaking perspex shelter (just needs some tape on the seam) is a back leaning thing that I was ready to denounce, yet in Ringwood the public seats are identical. Good for pregnant women or heavy set people I guess. Smoking was a oft mentioned desperate thing. Maybe a non burn cigarette lighting thing in the wall as at Antelope house is an answer. We all deserve respect and smokers could easily become further estranged, it would be easy to make what were early warning devices as to the ward’s health more dysfunctional so as to limit that role. Massive improvement was felt by all when the area got a makeover, some seedlings were encouraged, and the task of making a condemned area breathe again could have been an allegory for the greatest smokers in the ward. The largest black bin has a counter intuitive top to resist unauthorised dismantling. You try holding it with your hands at 180 degrees. That is designed for a reason, for street furniture, but it makes the task unpleasant for a worker.
From a sitting position with nothing to do I did notice the upper gutters had foliage in them which can only cause water damage to the building in time. Inside new sofa and seats arrived but not the best. They are uPVC which is sweaty, sticky, clammy, noisy and exhumes over time carcinogenics like phalates. But the choice is hard to beat? Ergonomically they are too deep. and not wide enough.
A heavy patient seeking repose finds the back about 5 inches too far away from the front edge. A good chair you can put your clenched fist up the space behind your knee. Ooops. these chairs and the sofa too are thus hard to get up from and on sitting back at normal weight it is possible to bite into your tongue…possibly relaxed with meds, Capiche? The supplier of this stapled uPVC substantial looking waste of money brains and time is Pineapple Contract Furniture from Orpington , BR5 3QY in Kent.
In the TV lounge…the sofas were routinely placed against the wall…and a hot radiator causing chemical release more likely, reducing the efficient y of the radiator with ignoring the improved moves to therefore have the sofas at a slight angle to the TV and not parallel to the wall which suits the organising principle but not on these occasions mine. So many acts of omission or acts of commission are not true fault of anyone. Remember this is a no blame ergonomic report because I have worked out you want to precipitate peoples emotional collapse the quicker to rebuild them to there designated plans. (later) And if you are a useful person better you do not gamble your long term health for an employer’s short term contractual liability.
Most people in the Class of 86 will have statistically be more useless than me? It could be.
No one is accountable…right? And the ideas of reference often via TV or cinema are still only a symptom?
Some patients found the innovation of a borrowed cushion behind the torso better and agreed as much. Others were conscious of the “group”. I was proud. One patient displaying the unofficial hallmark of a young punk hidden in hoodie and apparently asleep awoke disgruntled, cursorily threw things around a bit, unplugging the TV (Russell Crowe it was~) and betrayed what happens when a 5’10” admittedly slim male tries to sleep widthways on a sofa designed and chosen to prevent this. Do you actually choose chemicals in the mix to engender violence or paranoia. You might as well do. Television can add whatever the mix requires if you accept the premise as many monarch programming motifs are around randomly to fix or anchor useful inhibitions or disinhibitions once a script has been activated…according to Fritz SPRINGMEIER…more or less.
When it comes to rest or recreation the blue corridor is a sort of tranquil lake nothing like China Lake Naval basewhich was where so much was sent from to keep me motivated. A sort of Romeo and Juliet but with Paul Goldin trying to protect his daughter. ( Long story..please ask) what with me having a fiancee in a leper Colony by then. They stick these memes in your head and worry if they get forgotten.
The Occupational Therapy corridor…, (I call it) staff who “reside” there with the Doctors who make careful assessments and show all considerations. Here protected by locked doors that were proven to be undependable for a trial period, are the Activity room and the kitchen room and the Mindfullness room, and the best toilets in the building. Often the door access is locked to prevent encroachment by patients who are temporarily tanking until they find a solution in their mind. Good for them but when inhibitions fail, the system provides locked doors. Are you getting my drift? Locks or the choice over and power to lock are too often restrictive, reactionary or regressive.
There is a “games” room with over 200 Video’s of some therapeutic value(?) but no video machine , even on close inspection, nor any cable to join either to what looked like a monitor..One happy task convivial to a hypomanic was to resort the videos…good stuff on the top shelf, stuff I had never heard of on the mic dole shelf and true boxed set rubbish on the bottom shelf.
Not an ideal arrangement. Shelves around waist high along a wall or two ? Most of the DVD’s appeared lost missing or stolen, with several empty cases, so I suggest a retro return to the VCR’s. I have on offer a SONY TV/VCR combo that would do and be simple for patients under a cloud, and run the VCR and the tapes into the ground, just like I was so advised over my asbestos rich central heating boiler. I am waiting for someone to take it off my hands. Things are changing and managing web based devices for patient use maybe better left for those that do know about stuff.
There was a whiteboard. But no pens. The football table is not very robust despite appearances. Trouble is the best ones do not have telescopic rods and are a ….hazard!
There is a set of drums. But no pair of drumsticks. Just one. Like clapping with one hand. I have a nephew,who plays drums in a band… but he wasn’t listening. A set of Bongo drums might seem of no real use, but when a patient seemed frustrated communicating I made a joke about morse code and on the table it was just too rough. So, a symbiologist. I reached for a blank sheet of paper (very rare, pinched from a locked room only the staff used but shouldn’t) and placed it as completely useless insulation under the drums. Immediate reaction was stuff the drums , here is a sheet of paper! So a pen was quickly sourced and writing began. In the time honoured diplomacy of a professional I left him to it.
But those stupid drums and making a stupid noise had unlocked the door to a real need…the need to communicate which thenceforth became sometimes a thumbs up, sometimes a query over motivation, and sometimes, probably, fervent and apologetic praying to a God for helping a fool. I cannot work miracles but the drinking fountain at Antelope House I do claim to have seen once looking like a Monarch programming owl (Moloch representing child sacrifice) symbolically and later after I had dispensed with the advice of the staff there it changed I swear to a beatific smiling toad. I did point this out to a quiet observer I hoped was from the CQC. You have to remember the system does not encourage slack…it seeks to spread trauma. What I did was to transform symbolically the threat of parental and child trauma known only allusively through history as Imperial Conditioning/Marionette Syndrome/ Master/Slave nation or Monarch Programming into a lazy old toad. Well, I thought the moment worth mentioning.
As for locking doors, the doors to the stairwell and the food server area with patient seating requires them to be unlocked for about an hour or so each sitting. Have you noticed the door handles with or without locks the ones with two security screws at top and bottom..look like a stylised owl. It is a motif. a monarch motif…a monarch programming false flag suggesting wisdom and the protection of the ages for children but in reality….well…if you don’t know now you will soon. And in the game I am in I was sure to notice that role and its diminishment.
The physical tables in this place for breakfast, lunch and evening meal were round, so not suited to a fat man or a pregnant woman, I surmised. At a patient meeting it was suggested the 12.00 lunch would be better at 1.00, and this was generally felt a good argument. Still further, popular requests asked for warmed plates as the food was reheat alley food anyway…but the best! You would not believe the institutional reserve over such a simple and sensible request. Others will concur.
To escape from near the dining hall the nearest airlock to freedom is probably hazarded by a few and I think one patient did leave or bluff it mysteriously but came back, the homing instinct to the familiar kept me there anyway. So, if the doors are open by custom three times a day for an hour at least each…and many times between for staff, visitors and trips to the vending machine by patients on request…then why are the easily defeated with three kicks doors locked so much. A couple of weeks later I National Expressed it into Winchester to sample the posh air of a City with a median income way above my own Ringwood. As I sampled shops and ices, food and drink on a perfect day “OUT” I thought, “I was 10 minutes away trying to avoid any outside link whilst inside to get the job done…and look how nice normal is. And yet, hyped up, tolerated by staff, hovering over other lives as much as my own, I actually enjoyed the gaff. Yet the lessons are I became for others what I feared for myself …upping the ante as naturally as if I had been overwound by some manic Doctor.
And I have been overwound by some manic Doctor. It goes back a bit as does Monarch.
Few believe I could have met the most famous Monarch programming doctor since his putative death in 1979. So secure is the system, so easily unbalanced any challenge to it, most only manage a conscious or unconscious protest or fellow feeling that gets into the world of images or words. The esoteric tradition thus implied is known to few, but once you capture the images, the motifs and maybe the meaning, they capture you. Ideas of Reference become real.
In the school of thought I have been following it must be because having prevailed for so long the security function is now only symbolic, but the nuisance/power/tease and deny rigmarole suits the prevailing deterministic and iconoclastic image of a secure ward for the overarching imperative of keeping whoever is on top on top..and since World War 2 that has led as far as I can tell to Will Filer saying the NSA as top dog is out of control and their take on world struggles is mismanaged to say the least
Let me admit an error. I gathered by slight observation a new patient.., a male,was being ushered in by concerned friends and that he was a medical Doctor. So, as I do pick up on interesting things I welcomed him and (perhaps not smiling enough looking for the lie), welcomed him to the ward as Doctor whatever his name was.
Ooops. I forgot, My first arrival at Camp Melbury was fraught with “threshold anxiety” common to little children in an adult library, was my original source. Here I was doing exactly the wrong thing…low profile..status aware…who the hell was I anyway? This Doctor looked fraught and apologised profusely saying “ I am not ready yet”. OK fine. Attempt such as it was denied. No problem. I have no agenda. Well. it lies beyond the confines of one man.
This report shows the slipshod way an errant fool can still find treatment in a multi user environment. And be considered safe to go home and even rationalise the experience even thus? My mother an advocate of the NHS in which she is an old hand thought I should hold out for a job. Perhaps this will show the challenge for a regular person, before anyone thinking, as I seem to be moving on this table, in this Quiet Room, such as I should have different ways that would move things along or radicalise a history? They have to have contingency plans for anything…and Oh, yes, they just lost all their data, didn’t they. Hey Ho , survival of the fittest? I am beyond my own confines in this argument.
The daily newspapers were a nice addition to the activity room. 2 middlebrow papers and a redtop. Monday to Friday. They would appear about 10.30 or 11.30 or later, and un-ironed. Newspapers provide the unwell with random opportunities and other agendas to covet or avoid as they get better?I worked for 30 years in a library. I hate walls and doors. And missed opportunities. But I like mixed ability groups and what nature can throw at you. Sadly here I accuse the NHS of being used to deliver from a hinterland of denied chances the grail of being able to switch servants to slaves and managers to servants, shall we say? Or something like?
I lost contact with the driving force that qualified me for assessment and thus restoring my regular medications I became aware after a week more it was OK to read the papers without too many ideas of reference. It is a clinical symptom but Monarch Programming swears by it. Another week and the radio was Ok and another week the TV, but only just.
Proof of wellness came in that I read 200 pages of a novel in a day an improvement on before I was ill. And of the female patients two were hearing me on the radio and somehow I became transfixed in their experience of being unwell, but them both getting better assuredly?…One patient refusing food or water seemed to pick up on this change of pace, so i suggested he should stay with us just to find out how my story ended. I think he was listening. The story is worth knowing, if you poke about a bit yourself.
So, £200 plus a night and I was trouble most everyday…and all for what? I got better. People I met got better. People fit for the grave started to get colour in their cheeks, their hair looked like it was washed, new clothes appeared…they might sound still desperate or angry but arguing is good? And they now have reasons to argue, to keep their sentinels up to the plate. This mischief is only to question stupidity. And the onslaught continued. In the end it must be the numbers that wear you down. I had subtle NSA “Extreme Process” Psyops poking for about 3 years and all the signs for it are still in place. So fortunately is the full enhanced pension that makes a commentary like this possible. And still no one reveals how urgent is the struggle or if we could stand down, or lie down , drink cool clear water, and live a little.
The week or two before I was admitted to Antelope House… I became unsure of any facts but up for a super wheeze that true or not should not be missed…. as that worked out and was reversible it could be the pattern for some years to come. Monarch crunches out the numbers. Melbury Lodge will have more script-kiddies, women asunder or even Doctors from home or abroad under the scalpel of their so called peers.
Just to drive the mind to the edges of reason for the qualities it can there unravel to a trained eye is the methods used . The only question anyone has asked so far that means anything was “how long after your admission do you think you kept being hyper-vigilant”. For me resolving unknowns and linking them at for example my website created on April 1st
That website was written from nothing in a day and if you find that manic I was at that time on the way up. This website of one day’s gestation went over 8,000 words in one sitting too, realising I had promises fro keep for the lives of others after a home visit by a CPN. Immediately in bed the visual symbolism began, a strange artistic experience which I could not control but from experience taught me something if I paid attention. However, it provided secrecy and no evidence and was fascistic in slowly morphing into a kaleidoscope of sinister left field real time programming. Taken to bed too was a heavy tingling on the left ankle..just where a slave’s chained fetter would be..indicating to an insider or to me subliminally a message I too was Spartacus and had better know when to stop. Yes it is counter intuitive to broadcast a personal weakness…it encourages hermit behaviour today and that might explain those who took to that sort of better dead to the world than being read in the past as a victim within a type of slavery?
But trust me monarch programming has always worked in silence…nothing spoken, nothing written,,,, Through stealth and just waiting for the right moment compliance to changing needs was guaranteed using the same old symbols that served elites up on a plate for most of their generations to those skilled in the art. But now it is the NSA who seek to nudge not elites so much, but populations. People can be slaved too… not at random, elites were entranced at the point of possible greater sorrow…but populations can mean an Arab Spring, even.
I have some tributes to pay, but this is the numbers game with randomly to be found clues. So the pyramid of sacrifice just gets bigger. The introspection if you happen to know the history just means someone has to ask “is he (or she) aware? So few must be. You are not supposed to be. And if you are? Antelope House, Melbury Lodge? Do you want to inhibit or disinhibit? It is all rather lovely isn’t it?
The best toilets in the ward are in the blue carpeted Occupational Therapy corridor that was sometimes opened beneficially for all but now and then closed off to suit the vagaries of patients then exceeding their safe compass.
Toilets most often used two dispensers of toilet paper mounted side by side made by Lotus Professional. I am hyper-vigilant when hyper active or should that be hypomanic and see connections others may not. In fact the connections may not exist. Except if one person sees connections they exist at least for them. If they agree with generic associations known to others independently of each other, you have a motif. So, these dual side by side toilet paper dispensers dispense whote tissue at the centre of each circular container, and look as serviceable as those in place like B&Q or Tesco’s. Poor toilet paper dispensers are legion and Houzz the website where I am a beach hut design consultant called beachhutman ran a webpage recently on the under or over debate I followed and contributed to keenly.
A breast toilet paper trauma driver: one could still be the last straw to a shattered wannabe but ex mother in a medical ward or one with post natal Depression. It expresses. Two can be horizontal or vertical too. Black straw. This is a lost language we need to re address. And yes there is an industry at work this is not the randomness of those exposed to it. It IS intelligent design. More’s the shame.
The thing is that to a hyper vigilant Monarch-aware patient who knows the purpose and value of sublimating emotions in the environment these toilet papers mock motherhood. They mimic subliminally a mother’s ability to express milk and here attach it to a toilet paper dispenser expressing white tissue from the centre of the twin “breasts”. Why would they do this? Because Monarch Programmers are the sorts of disaffected mavericks spurned by society and separated from their fellows by their times or by the accident of their birth. With no alternative to having been acquired they have to make the best pif a bad jb and seek any credit they can by the measure of the success of the monarch program as was.
In Antelope House I gained access to the female ward and found heavy steel doors that only a fool would not realise could punish an “offender” by locking them in a windowless shower and dimly lit basin area. The chair that might stop this action is barely worth the name..as at Melbury Lodge, and having female patients to think of this was no place for a baby. The supposed by me orange plastic laundry basket with pierced heart shape holes in to allow air through might have tempted a mother to use it as a moses basket. But the spacing only allowed suspension from a rubber hook in one position..I measured the holes to find the trick of it….and even if the trick was found the rubber hooks to prevent any ligature, would prove a slip and washing, baby, foetus or belongings would crash insensibly to the floor. I found the thought alone disturbing and patients seem to rest unassured
I adopted the guise for a time of imagining I was pregnant . The toilet paper dispensers subliminally would be better avoided as a mimicry of breast feeding. Twin plastic cylinders expressing white tissues means to a pregnant woman, say, they are equating the mothering experience to a less cherished toilet bodily function on purpose? The (I call them) moses baskets seemed ill designed for the two hooks that they might find an association which could only end in a dysfunction. Melbury made a point of art in rooms and copies or not the thought carries many wishes within the ward.
The hand paper dispensers in use could spout out their handy paper, but with frightened, shall we suppose, pregnant women alarming unfriendly mechanical noises could be heard corridors of power away. In Antelope House in particular the large heavy metal doors would slam shut with a terrifying unexpectedness which I failed to investigate, But patients at Melbury Lodge observed the doors there are the loudest they had ever heard. Something is awry and the real reason is probably the need, the easily sated desire to traumatise already traumatised people to get them to their switching points? What can be learnt now i mental health seems directed to the distinction between what is real and what is not and the glimmer of special perceptiveness for a limited time as people are put into this breech once more, or just once? No th experimentation demands more switching souls
Even if only when hyper vigilant. RL, an old former colleague told me Alzheimer’s patients start to lose the ability to read books, then newspapers, then magazines. A middlebrow newspaper might still be bought as a strut or tie, a bond anyway; though it might be upside down. Then television loses its point, though the visual metronome swings on. Before radio loses its merry gait of familiarity fast disappearing with every new broadcasting axeman like Trevor Dan making the media responsive one more turn around for and to a younger audience. In the face of institutional discrimination against the old, patients memories of personal songs sung with a faltering emotion will resurface and may thrive..long enough to push away for a time the imminent loss of, say facial recognition of kinfolk, perhaps
For my father, the personalised song was for me anyway. “Red Sails in the Sunset”..word perfect and some would have engineered an early death even then. He was sailing and falling off that boat, the Kenya Jacaranda into the Thames whilst instructing cadets to work his passage with an old colleague just a decade before. Dignity is no cargo, it is the manner in which we stay afloat.
Melbury Lodge has an NHS rate of £200 a day.
The South Central NHS is over budget in every division but one. A cruise liner costs about £60.00 a day per bed and has facilities to die for. A dementia bed costs £100 a day to occupy. Can you see how a Richard Branson of the demented or disconsolable might thrive providing divertissement in foreign airs?
Notably Melbury Lodge had singing sessions which as with spurious choirs organised by local do gooders with a dodgy past can be a front for recruitment into groups of some claimed new influencing, but that is now possible to claim for any group or enterprise. Some may try to infer they are protected by the symbol of the safeguarding certification scheme or worse in my suspicious view some cosy owl logo…remember what Moloch “was”.
One group running a choir I researched were promoting Landmark Forum which was an offshoot of Scientology and both had common roots in EST, or the Esalen Institute and through that channel alone, the CIA and mind control experimentation that may not have escaped the gravity and the track record it holds with a vengeance absent of emotion in this area. Those who hold ground in this contested space and are not monarch controlled seem to be nowhere other than amongst the many distrusted false flags that can render a psychiatric ward and the therapeutic successes it might have inoperable. Maybe the real purpose is discovered by those like me coming through these days sailing ever closer to the wind and Monarch backing every horse in the race it is said
Such is the richness of life in general and hyper-vigilance in particular, though for each day of lucidity there is a week of trauma and skilfully constructed or dismantled it still is a waste of money brains and time (WOMBAT) were it not we are in an arms race to cultivate the psyops in our national or international institutions. The Germans in the 30’s were so keen to break through this ceiling they sought a Master race and man) slave nation/s. Even today new evidence is emerging about carts of drugs in camp kitchens so urgent was their experimentation. For the rest see monarch programming.com and remember I met Mengele years ago in harness and I do not like to hear from Old Etonian historians that my evidence is a mobius loop of hearsay. I was there and it was in context. see just one version at
That Melbury Lodge is shaped like a Swastika is just an accident, but always remember the West’s Monarch Program always hid behind the esoteric, the erotic or the exotic…whatever worked and then whatever worked best following many lines and some of those family ones. . And America was hiding behind Germany. Religion or anything extreme were all pressed into service. IN the UK we pressed into service an astrologer to second think the Hitler person.My continued ability to note an extreme process simulated fetter on my leg after writing a 8,000 word unflattering expose at one first sitting tells me something. So I am but a slave, eh?…but journalism and librarianship tells me I should never be too shy to share what I do think I know, with the advantage of hindsight over many years.
You want to count my successes? You want to count my failures? Ergonomics says try to achieve the best match between human and well, pleasure in a way. A mistake in a control room can be averted by an operator keeping a beer can on an important lever. And that was a control room for nuclear power where the experts got it wrong.
Decades ago I read a book on being lazy, http://www.amazon.co.uk/Design-Everyday-Things-Donald-Norman/dp/0262640376
That was a book on ergonomics and it had two pet hates….door handles and taps.
No surprise then that I have singled out the door handles design, associations, maintenance and probable expense here or elsewhere. The circular control is not intuitive other than clockwise to lock but there is no design cue. Efforts have eliminated any ligature as suicide is a constant reality in the wards I describe having a potentiometer factor.
The owl allegory is unfortunate, and the water faucet basin having the same appearance atAntelope House suggests that oldest of Monarch subliminals is here too at work. But subliminally. By the way, workmen bought in to remedy the door fails from a large patients kicks and the door closures next to the besieged office….claimed they wanted to retire,the other workmen never finished the job, the ergonomics behind the plates was awful. they were the worst door mechanisms they had ever worked on. Thanks at various times to a glasses case, a penny, a five pence piece ((both with steel cores), a cloth or a strip of metal the size of a cigarette’s length that could not be seen by two doctor’s hoping to help…the security stranglehold on the ward was lifted and staff soon felt the breeze of freedom when doors would open to the touch. Some staff guarded their 4 to 8 digit key code from prying eyes but even the most assiduous would be caught with an oblique view from obscurity provided by the door window with an interloper hovering outside the office . I supposed that the digital solution would always be so compromised.
When it comes to Monarch, the Extreme Process makes that lot thing the rest of us are dinosaurs. This attitude is betrayed in a soulless system because the human dimension…humour or suppressed wisdom…led to insults played out in anime in my own bedroom ceiling. This by the way persists in the vision even with closed eyes, suggesting a mental inference to some agenda other than one’s own.
At Melbury Lodge, despite the cauldron of cycling bipolar patients waving not drowning or drowning not waving…before leaving and abandoning people I regarded now as friends…I should mention untruths. Patients lie and they lie convincingly or not as the skill set of the patients fluctuate. I was impressed, cautioned then congratulatory that patients well or unwell would err on the side of lying and not be penalised for it. People seem attracted to people who are truthful, or not in order to enjoy the discrimination. So no harm done?
I supposed I ought to unlock the room safe I had sniffed at as a former Panopticon Security founder. I knew it was of poor design thanks to a too weak spring on the solenoid. ( it is all on You Tube! ) I tried my favourite easy to remember combinations first… as I had no potato to make my intervention. (Actually you do not even need a potato) Then the correct code just “came to me”. That, I am thinking, is no esoteric learning, but a human capability that Monarch knows stuff just like librarians do, journalists do, or Derren Brown does…and Monarch can get its people out of a fix. No difference from gang culture, just a worse audit or evidence trail for the likes to follow me. But in all of this I have been there, and remembered enough to make a point rare in its counter to audacity that thought it would always prevail.. The NHS has lost its way as you would expect sooner or later, and needs to set itself apart from a dictatorship of the unwell camouflaged with all the management speak a Chief Executive can provide for a system she has inherited like the Chaplain in a way, for a salary of £180-200,000 a year using the best ingredients that years of dominant power playing ergonomic territory grabbing can furnish. She has been made responsible but like Doctor Mengele,, whom I have met in harness, lacks mens rea.
Of great value to patients (especially on Lithium Carbonate salts) is cool clear water. Antelope Lodge perversely aerates the drinking faucet flow and this is likely to create an overt issue or a disguised rebellion with the patient finding a normal “stream” such as in the generously large and rewarding canteen area. I for one felt as is a characteristic with “Hyper-Vigilance”, the water was adulterated or medicated and the aerated appearance just sucks. Yes I know paranoia is looming…have you not got it yet, that is the intention.
By it I do not mean paranoia, I mean that things are not as bad as they seem. They are worse? And here I struggle to find fault with the rest of it all. This is an allegory.
And yet at Melbury Lodge black sided or sheathed water coolers actually resemble more a solid fuel boiler especially if the flimsy magnetic cup chute is playfully left centre top with the lid open at 90 degrees as a chimney. What is wrong with a tap in good order in a nacelle to avoid a ligature and a sign saying drinking water. The rate of flow of the black towers was very poor. A tap above a sink…Ahhhh, just like long ago…..Ahhhh.
So often if there was a sink there was no plug. Duh, a plug can be fashioned in seconds with a convenient but noisy towel dispenser. No plug…no need for an overflow .you might imagine. Look if you are going to have basins have an overflow. Have somewhere where water is accessible. I wasted years on the Tuttons Well preservation committee because no provision was made for an overflow, the weight of the water, like tradition, let what is life lie beneath moribund and stagnant and no use to anyone. An ergonomic expert with mental health hospital ward and secure considerations might argue, but I hate slavery and challenge is the best C in that particular management speak list of desired behaviours they really wish would go away or get a mortgage and fall into line.
Small choices are big choices if you have none. As in Melbury Lodge pictures and names at Antelope Ward humanise the workers for the patients, no easy feat when 3 shifts rotate about a core of staff shielded by agency staff, routine or professional. Where I was first dropped off seemed a very special place in that the staff went out of their way to be abrupt, polite but almost with no apparent care or humanity, There had to be a reason for this, and continuing trauma and no respite must? be the reason which suits the old Monarch Program agenda and not NHS actual policy? as one would imagine it to protect and to serve the patient. The State has my money for that, and yours, but the ergonomics tell a story I approach with no great fixity, as you might imagine.
One concern about three water supplies to bedroom basins was cleared up when it was patiently explained there was very hot and cold that a valve mixed just right and a cold supply direct. I imagine this is not drinkable but one patient did not deserve a put down at that time and the use passed. I like the do nothing and rest afterwards school of work place energy auditing. The best salesmen let little objections lie for another time, and make sure the customer will not have reason to complain about the big things, not the little ones , they come with repeat business, which is what this is. I suppose a system could be reversed to scald in the nighttime…and that in a microcosm is what is wrong when ergonomics follow a darker purpose..like emptying cafe seats through pain to churn more customers. Just like my stockbroker. Just like companies who insist their staff do not “blow the gaff”.
Everybody is doing it, you might refer more convivially to bed blocking. Yesterday I saw a youth obviously deranged wearing that punk youth uniform Monarch seems to be sending Melbury’s way and the point of departure was apart from talking to himself attempts to cover all but eyes and er that was it. That man needs Antelope or Melbury..but without the trimmings..in fact the idea of a patient charter or a patient commonwealth would do well to filter into the ward not just people but the things they miss on a ward for a month. Our punk patient who eventually went elsewhere seemed to have switched away from punk ordinances. But one darker material heard usually stimulates a rejoinder. A lighter one.
I might point out Melbury Lodge just didn’t want to escalate things anymore for a bit anyway.. and my condition appears stable but is not…last night after 8,000 words to keep to a promise, I was in an excitable state ..by midday the word count was 13.300, I do need to get this out before countermeasures…tinnitus can be one apparently, trying to fight dirty for the ground that will be sacrificed whilst claiming survival of the fittest. I hate to cheat. Those words now a report in the making could sink a ward (done- Abbey ward at Antelope House)) but equally sink the messenger . Rope,,,enough of it…enough for the Extreme Process to metaphorically look for an in after probably being frustrated since April’s come she will when this patient on the way up to a place of interest in the inhibition/disinhibition stakes. And that was a quickly cobbled together clarity of supposition on the web now as http://www.panopticonsecurity.wordpress.com At some point on the way up or the way down you start to value, cherish or protect the lighter stuff. A parent might be told their child is like a fine wine but one neglected that will turn to vinegar.
I have had to make decisions what to say to parents about overwhelming concerns and evidence Monarch has touched their family. And still I exist to do it again, and I make sure they know where I am..no threat because a hospital will know reversal is almost unknown, The best advice from an aware psychiatrist who has missed nothing is still. “Good Luck” for patients will be presenting with unbelievable stories for assessment of how well they handle the “script” under what is really simulated interrogation.
The CIA do this and the man, usually, thinks he is in bed with his wife and thus the words begin to flow in the Quiet Room”.. now a Japanese film but I and an alien abductee agree about the three lights.
The best advice for parents is your child only needs one gift, that of enthusiasm… and enthusiasm for known Monarch programming celebrity culture fads and fashions is probably a clue a road has been chosen which can at best lead to here. But at least what I have found out is there and the will to avoid unnecessary waste.
The Art room is a hazard filled room where the door locked securely, can be opened if you pull it and not push . There is a sprung lever that stops this…but it is sprung. And yields like the safe bolt I spoke of. Inside are paper and paints, pens and rare delights of artistic books. drawers contain lethal possibly knitting needles and scissors are probably somewhere. There times a day the shifts change and this is the quiet place seconded for shift change nurse/doctor meetings. Confidentiality is an issue here and I could not encroach any further, yet the room after say 3 hours meetings a day can revert to Occupational health purposes. Do you think it does? Stupid rules just provide a tantalus to defeating that denial of services to patients by creating security breaches in a nice way. It has nice lever taps but thereby hangs a thread.
So many minor variations, that ergonomic book argues taps can work by any or more of these actions: pull, push, press. squeeze, turn, be operated by arm, hand, foot or infra red like the urinals 20 years ago at Zurich University. I am no slouch but hypomanics are easily detracted or irritated I have read and so my choice of specialist subject…ergonomics of the mind…makes perfect sense…if you are ever under mind control you will likely feel a little clumsy…I have noticed that in my years of bounded campaigning and yes, it is all to do with cores and front alters but I try to skim over the serious stuff. I do what I do and what I do I do well, or go someplace else.
This art room contains computer. I resolved..like hermits in the past maybe for the same reason..Imperial Conditioning was just another era amongst untold distinctiveness of the scourge…to retreat from a world where I would be prey to the many. The web. Fine at home. I do research. bUt the computer would be ring fenced and hard to command and just generally a pain in the butt.It was arranged its security would be or seem to have been compromised.
I should have asked to see the note from this action, but the IT guy, Barry, was asked to condemn or repair the computer such is the non specialised belief in security systems and the collapse of all rationality when that layer is penetrated.
Good security comes in layers and the best security has visible and invisible components…overt and covert policing being an example that covers most eventualities. Luckily the reason was seen to be benign, no offence had been committed and a point had hopefully been made.
That and some cartoon character, a ligatured Cluedo game part and when nothing else seemed important (such is the waxing and waning of life on a ward)… Brian the caterpillar and the presumed Magic Roundabout alt.sex equivalent play acting to lighten the load. Hopefully it is all on CCTV. If ever it was needed it was the days I was there, or else this report falls as evidential based research and any lessons will be forfeit to chance. Sadly our reliance on digital evidence or children’s video amusements are now so compromised by Monarch Programmings data trails and motif slimes evidence is never going to what it was.
A video for 45 minutes of me ostensibly for a BBC pilot with Julian Rhind Tutt questioning myself seems to be someone making sure…and I am still here so not everyone seeks dominion whilst lessons can still be learnt? These people do show their hand all the time, by proxy, for today there are none so aware as this aware they can be fooled.
But rarely a face, or a name that leads anywhere but back to an earlier square. and my strategy, shackled by a Monarch tingling that MUST be a slavery impression, in both senses, was a statement that few would risk. Here publish everything. Secrecy only girds a man tighter with his coat in the wind. The sun knows better how to free a few spirited types.
The history of ecstasy or hippie culture will almost certainly show it was a manufactured avenue of deceit and surveillance ending when the greatest threats were neutralised or shall we just say disinhibited as a countermeasure to fears of the system ironically harming itself.
Hospitals, the NHS, governance, trusts, regulators, investigators, psychiatry (itself a discipline without much in the way of evidence as it happens,) have to shift from denial to asking are my contrived but measured ostentation ( a conceit to gain trust) facts and opinions of any merit.
In a world of little actual evidence you can be sure of (psychiatry for example) you have to use whatever tricks you can to back up an opinion. So much comes down to statistics, and human rights are so important how come I have only mentioned them twice? Journalists will rightly sniff at the evidence trail created to finish this report. Bt without such vacillations this challenge to the way things are would never have been written or hopefully read.
That’s it. 4 working days of typing and 35,437 words…you can see why productivity want a peek.
Tim Baber, B.A., A.L.A.
Avon View Stubbings Meadow Ringwood BH24 1EB
Telephone me on 01425 461360 or 07966 183272
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Published at the end of June 2014.
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